Dec 19, 5:05AM
2023
|
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't pump up the jelly
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Dec 19, 3:05AM
2023
|
We'll all miss Grandma this Christmas, but I know she'll be looking down on us...
...waiting for the
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Dec 19, 2:05AM
2023
|
I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda
It was more of a Fanta sea
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 19, 1:05AM
2023
|
I just got a job testing a new erectile dysfunction medication.
The starting pay isn't great but I'm
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Dec 19, 12:05AM
2023
|
I quit my job as an underwater diver.
Deep down, it just wasn't for me.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 18, 11:05PM
2023
|
"Tell your fortune! Only $40!" she offered, shuffling her tarot deck
"No thanks," I said as I passed
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Dec 18, 10:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a 400 pound alcoholic?
A heavy drinker.
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Dec 18, 9:05PM
2023
|
Recent advancements in Artificial Intelligence, or A.I., have caused much concern and controversy, y
... |
1
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1
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0
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1
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0
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6
|
Dec 18, 8:05PM
2023
|
A magician was working on a cruise ship.
A magician was working on a cruise ship.
Since the audience
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Dec 18, 7:05PM
2023
|
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 18, 6:05AM
2023
|
What's the difference between a man praying in church and a man praying at the blackjack table?
The
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Dec 18, 5:05AM
2023
|
I want to tell a joke about beds….
But I don’t think anyone here gives a sheet.
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Dec 18, 4:05AM
2023
|
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon.
As she lay her pet on the table, the vet
... |
1
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2
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0
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0
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0
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7
|
Dec 18, 3:05AM
2023
|
My wife calls me a sex machine.
Her actual words were “you’re a fucking tool,” but I know what she m
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 18, 2:05AM
2023
|
An obnoxious drunk
An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink, the
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 18, 1:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Dec 18, 12:05AM
2023
|
A black guy peed in my mouth.
Tonight's the night (hey), let's live it up (let's live it up)
I go
... |
0
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1
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0
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1
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0
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5
|
Dec 17, 11:05PM
2023
|
A bear and a rabbit find a genie...
A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods, and just as the be
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Dec 17, 10:05PM
2023
|
For the 6th time this month, someone broke into my barn and stole a cow
I think it's time to beef up
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 17, 9:05PM
2023
|
What did the guy say to his wife before he died of constapation?
"Honey... must turd..."
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Dec 17, 8:05PM
2023
|
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it to roll
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Dec 17, 7:05PM
2023
|
My friend has a butler whose left arm is missing.
Serves him right.
... |
1
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2
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0
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0
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0
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7
|
Dec 17, 6:05AM
2023
|
Where's my present?
A man in an interrogation room says “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer pre
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Dec 17, 5:05AM
2023
|
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck-an-ear
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Dec 17, 4:05AM
2023
|
How many Real Men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Real men aren’t afraid of the dark.
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Dec 17, 3:05AM
2023
|
I asked my dad, “What’s your favourite shoe brand?”
Dad: Converse.
Me: I thought we were already ta
... |
1
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0
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1
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1
|
0
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5
|
Dec 17, 2:05AM
2023
|
What did the Roman say after a tiger ate his wife?
Gladiator
... |
0
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1
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1
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0
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0
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5
|
Dec 17, 1:05AM
2023
|
I ran out of toilet paper, so have begun using old newspapers.....
The Times are rough.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 17, 12:05AM
2023
|
What is 8+12-(67•9)?
I though as my grandma threw the pipe bomb at the family of possums under our d
... |
2
|
0
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0
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1
|
0
|
4
|
Dec 16, 11:05PM
2023
|
Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of hungry wolves.
The wolves chased the rabbits into a thick
... |
1
|
1
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0
|
0
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0
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4
|
Dec 16, 10:05PM
2023
|
What do cows tell each other at bedtime
Dairy tales.
Also, They hate horror stories, because they a
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 16, 9:05PM
2023
|
I asked my friend if he wanted some fries.
“No thanks” he said as the penis goblin emerged from the
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 16, 8:05PM
2023
|
I hate public transportation. I once had to watch a homeless man masturbate on a train for 45 minute
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 16, 7:05PM
2023
|
Walking home late last night I passed a slice of apple pie, a hot fudge sundae, and a lemon cheeseca
... |
2
|
1
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0
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0
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0
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5
|
Dec 16, 7:05AM
2023
|
What’d John Lennon say at the threesome?
Come together.
Right now.
Over me.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 16, 6:05AM
2023
|
Why are there pop tarts, but no mom tarts?
Because of the pastryarchy
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
Dec 16, 5:05AM
2023
|
An aeroplane crashed on a small uninhabited island...
(Childhood joke of mine translated from Canton
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 16, 4:05AM
2023
|
In a recently discovered tape we learn for the first time what Michael Jackson’s pronouns were
He/he
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 16, 3:05AM
2023
|
I asked my friend if he wanted some fries.
“No thanks” he said as the penis goblin emerged from the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 16, 2:05AM
2023
|
Three men die on Christmas eve...(aka # 145)
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint P
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 16, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife and I had this huge argument as to which vowel is the most important.
I think—I won.
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 16, 12:05AM
2023
|
What is 8+12-(67•9)?
I though as my grandma threw the pipe bomb at the family of possums under our d
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 15, 11:05PM
2023
|
So this corporate lawyer comes into his office
A corporate lawyer just bought a brand new Porsche, a
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 15, 10:05PM
2023
|
Vegans need to stop judging each other's food choices
The last thing we want is another spinach inqu
... |
1
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 15, 9:05PM
2023
|
We always talk about Adolf
But no one seems to care about what he did to ler
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 15, 8:05PM
2023
|
I’m dating this woman we have not been intimate yet
She told me to stop at a specific Walgreens in t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 15, 7:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a paper airplane that can't fly?
Stationary.
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
|
4
|
Dec 15, 5:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter because he’s not coming
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 15, 4:05AM
2023
|
Robin: "Batman, the Batmobile won't start."
Batman: "Check the battery."
Robin: "What's a Tery?"
... |
1
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
1
|
Dec 15, 3:05AM
2023
|
John, fresh out of college, is looking for his first job...
(Joke is translated from afrikaans, some
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 15, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why is North Korea so atheist?
They dont have a Seoul
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
Dec 15, 1:05AM
2023
|
My friend Jay recently had twin daughters and wanted to name them after him.
So I suggested Kay and
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 15, 12:05AM
2023
|
I accidentally put a condom on backwards
I didn’t know if I was cumming or going
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 14, 11:05PM
2023
|
One day, John falls asleep next to his wife, in bed.
After some time, he sees st. Peter.
John: "am
... |
1
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 14, 10:05PM
2023
|
My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list...
But now I can't see anything.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 14, 9:05PM
2023
|
When I was young, I once drew a fake moustache to make myself look older.
How was I supposed to know
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
6
|
Dec 14, 8:05PM
2023
|
Fifty priests died in a horrible bus accident.
Saint Peter was waiting at the Pearly Gates and said
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 14, 7:05PM
2023
|
Who can drink 20 litres of gas and not get sick?
Jerry can.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 14, 7:05AM
2023
|
A guy I knew in prison just killed himself.
A guy I met in prison, Dave, was always so happy and nic
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 14, 6:05AM
2023
|
Me and elevators dont get along that well.
I seem to be always pushing their buttons.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 14, 5:05AM
2023
|
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
A tractor.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 14, 4:05AM
2023
|
I asked my boss what browser he uses...
He said "Chrome"
I said "So why do people in the team say y
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 14, 3:05AM
2023
|
My friends and I decided to do some back yard dare devil shenanigan's , and I had to climb the power
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 14, 2:05AM
2023
|
The Queen's breasts
Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Queen with large breasts.
Sid, the D
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 14, 1:05AM
2023
|
True Story. One of my finest moments
When my wife and I were planning to move, we were looking at ho
... |
0
|
3
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
9
|
Dec 14, 12:05AM
2023
|
I don't like space puns.
They make my blood boil.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 13, 11:05PM
2023
|
A guy driving a Kia pulls up to a stoplight next to a Rolls-Royce
The Kia driver rolls down his wind
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 13, 10:05PM
2023
|
I had a date last night, it was perfect…
Tomorrow I’ll try a grape
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 13, 9:05PM
2023
|
“Eat your crust, it’s the healthy part,” my dad said
I didn’t think it applied to cheese but I wasn’
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 13, 8:05PM
2023
|
Two Muslims are wandering, starving and lost in the desert-
they come across a monastery, and decide
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 13, 7:05PM
2023
|
What weighs more, a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane?
A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter f
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 13, 5:05AM
2023
|
Grandma and Grandpa
Grandma and Grandpa are sitting on the veranda of the old folks, home rocking ba
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 13, 4:05AM
2023
|
What team in the NFL has the most passionate fans?
Indianapolis. They have a Colt following.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 13, 3:05AM
2023
|
The Doctor says I have bad news and I have even worse news for you.
Me - ok, give me the bad news fi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 13, 2:05AM
2023
|
Whenever I pay cash for something, I always make sure that I get my change in pennies. That may seem
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 13, 1:05AM
2023
|
Married couple on their 30th anniversary
They are sitting in the rocking chairs at sundown she's kni
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 13, 12:05AM
2023
|
Some cow puns.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two le
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 11:05PM
2023
|
Utility of condoms
Two old women are sitting at a bench near a sidewalk smoking cigarettes. Suddenly
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 10:05PM
2023
|
Why did the vulture get kicked off the plane?
People kept complaining about his carrion luggage.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 9:05PM
2023
|
Every plumber says this when his toilet gets clogged
This ain’t shit to me.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 8:05PM
2023
|
A man hands his wife some ibuprofen and a glass of water before bed one night.
“What’s this for?” as
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 12, 7:05PM
2023
|
What’s the worst thing to hear your surgeon say during the operation?
Literally anything.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 8:05AM
2023
|
The treasured son (long)
There was once an extremely wealthy man. Not self made, but he had made the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 7:05AM
2023
|
Just found out Albert Einstein was a real person!
I always though he was a theoretical physicist
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Dec 12, 6:05AM
2023
|
How can a 17-character code help you identify your vehicle?
Learn about the nature of VINs with Davi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 5:05AM
2023
|
After 20 years of marriage, Louise was upset her husband Tom never bought her a Christmas gift
She w
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Dec 12, 4:05AM
2023
|
I have sex almost every day
Almost on Monday
Almost on Tuesday
Almost on Wednesday
Almost on Thursda
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 3:05AM
2023
|
you know when she's hot
when just seeing her makes you almost impregnate your briefs
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 2:05AM
2023
|
A man is on a business trip in Romania
A man is on a business trip in Romania and figures to visit a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 12, 1:05AM
2023
|
Just found out that my wife is getting me a universal remote for Christmas.
That changes everything.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 12, 12:05AM
2023
|
Every plumber says this when his toilet gets clogged
This ain’t shit to me.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 11, 11:05PM
2023
|
Bartender walks into a church
A bartender walks into the Catholic church around the corner and ente
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 11, 10:05PM
2023
|
My wife and I were out food shopping the other day.
My wife and I were out food shopping the other d
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 11, 9:05PM
2023
|
Some people have animals to help them, I have a fungus.
It gives me Morel Support
... |
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Dec 11, 8:05PM
2023
|
Three Man are going to get locked away for 10 years.
Food and drink are provided, but they can wish
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 11, 7:05PM
2023
|
My wife tells me she has bad gene's
(True story, everyone is fine) My wife and I took our son to the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 11, 6:05AM
2023
|
Lie detecting robot
A lady buys a lie detecting robot. If you tell a lie around it, it slaps you; ha
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 11, 5:05AM
2023
|
I told the wife that I didn't have time to jog this morning. She said I say that every day....
....
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 11, 4:05AM
2023
|
Requited prayer
Two men are stranded on a deserted island, an atheist and a Christian. The next day
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 11, 3:05AM
2023
|
My girlfriend told me to stop making terrible water jokes
I waved and said "shore, I'll sea you late
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 11, 2:05AM
2023
|
How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do?
Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 11, 1:05AM
2023
|
I want to tell a joke about African countries. But I can’t think of any….
Kenya help me?
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Dec 11, 12:05AM
2023
|
why did batman cross his legs?
because his bat belt ran out of bat diapers
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 10, 11:05PM
2023
|
[NSFW]What do women say when they see a really big dick?
Yeah, I figured none of you would know eith
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 10, 10:05PM
2023
|
What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?
Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Dec 10, 9:05PM
2023
|
I had some leftovers out the fridge last week. Pet morgue ain't like that.
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Dec 10, 8:05PM
2023
|
A little girl wakes up and is hungry. Her mom normally makes her breakfast, but she is in the shower
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 10, 7:05PM
2023
|
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married?
Feyonce.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 10, 5:05AM
2023
|
What is the opposite of a Debbie Downer?
A Bethamphetamine.
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Dec 10, 4:05AM
2023
|
I just got a tattoo on my left butt cheek. I didn't like it though.
It was a half-ass job.
... |
1
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2
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0
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0
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0
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7
|
Dec 10, 3:05AM
2023
|
I just read that book written by the guy who was mauled by a grizzly. His name is
Claude Meearmoff
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 10, 2:05AM
2023
|
What did 50 Cents grandma say when he showed her the socks he made for her
Gee you knit?
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 10, 1:05AM
2023
|
Offer
I was offered sex by an Instagram model in exchange for promoting her toilet cleaner brand.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 10, 12:05AM
2023
|
I saw a radio for sale, the tag said "$0.50, volume stuck on full"
I thought to myself, "I can't tur
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 09, 11:05PM
2023
|
Shortly after he got divorced...
A friend asked Paul McCartney "would you ever go down on one knee a
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 09, 10:05PM
2023
|
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them
Did that, but now I
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 09, 9:05PM
2023
|
I was completely shocked when I learned that he finally swallowed his pride.
It never occurred to me
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Dec 09, 8:05PM
2023
|
I will never forget my grandpa's last words
"Hold the ladder you little shit"
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Dec 09, 7:05PM
2023
|
My wife is pregnant. I asked her whether she wanted any dinner. She replied:
"No thanks, I gestate."
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 09, 7:05AM
2023
|
An old man goes to confession
An old man goes to confession. He kneels down and says "Bless me, fath
... |
1
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0
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0
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1
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0
|
3
|
Dec 09, 6:05AM
2023
|
My friend keeps saying “cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole ful
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Dec 09, 5:05AM
2023
|
Politicians
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
”We have 2 basic needs
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Dec 09, 4:05AM
2023
|
I told my wife...
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 09, 3:05AM
2023
|
I saw the "One Man, One Jar" video for the first time today.
It was a jarring experience.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 09, 2:05AM
2023
|
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tr
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
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0
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4
|
Dec 09, 1:05AM
2023
|
What does a pirate say during a threesome?
All hands on dick
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Dec 09, 12:05AM
2023
|
What do you hear when you pull a furry's tail?
***\*POP\****
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 08, 11:05PM
2023
|
My girlfriend is shocked that I cheated on her
But I always told her "cheating on you is the last th
... |
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Dec 08, 10:05PM
2023
|
My daughter asked me, “Dad, what do bees eat?”
Me: Honey, how should I know?
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 08, 9:05PM
2023
|
I always get this subreddit and twosentencehorror confused.
It’s probably because all of the jokes h
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 08, 8:05PM
2023
|
I met a guy who has an orgasm every time he sneezes
ME: Wow! I've never heard of that. What do you t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 08, 7:05PM
2023
|
I'm going to open a sperm bank.
It'll be called "Get A Load Of This Guy!".
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Dec 08, 6:05AM
2023
|
I hired a Handyman and gave him a list of things to fix. He only worked on numbers 1, 3, and 5.
I gu
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 08, 5:05AM
2023
|
Millions of years ago, when the Nile river was still forming…
Was it a juve-Nile?
... |
1
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 08, 4:05AM
2023
|
My wife got a hair cut, earrings, airpods, and makeup after she got a raise at work.
All that money
... |
1
|
1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Dec 08, 3:05AM
2023
|
How do you console an English teacher?
There, thier, they’re
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Dec 08, 2:05AM
2023
|
My wife told me her gynaecologist said she wasn't allowed to have sex for two weeks.
She smacked me
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 08, 1:05AM
2023
|
Did you know that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands? The same with the Virgin Islands.
The
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 08, 12:05AM
2023
|
I wake up in the morning to check my phone.
Little do i realize, it was unpluged.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 11:05PM
2023
|
It’s Christmas Day
A little girl was riding her new bike and pulled up to a stoplight. A police offi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 10:05PM
2023
|
My son asked if he should upgrade his home surround sound system to Sony since every one says they a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 9:05PM
2023
|
A stoner, a Jedi and a surgeon walk into a bar.
Blunt Force Trauma.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 07, 8:05PM
2023
|
A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.
She protested, “But we
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 7:05PM
2023
|
I'm only 12.5% sure that God exists.
I guess that makes me an 1/8 theist.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 5:05AM
2023
|
Where do Redditors get their water?
From a well, actually.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 4:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their game in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boa
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Dec 07, 3:05AM
2023
|
Not Another Russian Joke!
Three poor souls are languishing in Gulag and have violated the camp curfe
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 2:05AM
2023
|
I feel like fake butter tastes better than real butter.
But only margarinally.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 1:05AM
2023
|
Marriage
A priest and a nun were lost in a blizzard. After a while, they came upon a small cabin.
B
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 07, 12:05AM
2023
|
My wife said to me "what starts in F and ends in K"
I said no it doesn't.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 11:05PM
2023
|
I was standing next to fat woman on the train platform, I looked at her and asked her when it was du
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 10:05PM
2023
|
Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?
It turned on the front camera
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 9:05PM
2023
|
Romeo Romeo, what's in thy pants? tis but a worm half the size of my aunt's.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 06, 8:05PM
2023
|
A Rabbi was traveling the land…
A Rabbi was traveling the land, visiting villages along the way. Soo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 7:05PM
2023
|
Does anyone have a joke about libraries?
I feel they are long overdue.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 06, 7:05AM
2023
|
A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac..
A sadist, a masochist
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 6:05AM
2023
|
Why was Abe Lincoln assassinated?
Because he was A-Blinkin' when he should have been A-Lookin'.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 5:05AM
2023
|
I was fucking my wife last night.....
...when she looked back and said ,"i'm feeling kinky tonight ,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 4:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a 1 legged hippo?
A hoppo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 3:05AM
2023
|
“Everyone says that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
“That’s why I jizzed on your eyes, babe.”
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 2:05AM
2023
|
How do I get rid of an STD?
I've tried fucking everything.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 1:05AM
2023
|
When asked for a hearing aid, the doctor told me to describe the symptoms
I said, Homer is a fat guy
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 06, 12:05AM
2023
|
I’ve heard it said that nothing rhymes with orange, but I’m not too sure I agree.
The two words don’
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 05, 11:05PM
2023
|
There was once a man who was obsessed with tractors…
He owned multiple tractors and tractor-themed m
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 05, 10:05PM
2023
|
A drunk man walks into a bank. He's holding an uncooked fruit. What does he say?
"This is a raw berr
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 05, 9:05PM
2023
|
Communism puns aren’t funny.
UNLESS everyone gets them.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 05, 8:05PM
2023
|
A large university class is taking the final exam…
…about 300 students are writing away in their blu
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 05, 7:05PM
2023
|
What’s the difference between a camera and a sock?
A camera takes photos, and a sock takes five toes
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Dec 05, 9:05AM
2023
|
Everyone says you should always follow your heart.
Which is why I went around beating people’s chest
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 05, 8:05AM
2023
|
Sex while camping
is fucking intense ...
(German speaker, not really sure if this works...)
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 05, 7:05AM
2023
|
I needed an eight character password for my Wi-Fi
so I chose.. SnowWhiteandtheSevenDwarfs
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 05, 6:05AM
2023
|
After being swallowed by a whale, I started running as fast as I could to the other end.
Eventually
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 05, 5:05AM
2023
|
Three guys enter a restaurant
They heard that in this particular restaurant, the waiter would sing t
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 05, 4:05AM
2023
|
Request: holiday themed dad jokes
Alright dads, I need all your best holiday themed dad jokes. Bonus
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Dec 05, 3:05AM
2023
|
Germany is great especially after knowing they were responsible for the holo
-graphic maps. a great
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Dec 05, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do a 9 volt battery and a butt hole have in common?
You know you shouldn't put your tongue on i
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 05, 1:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 05, 12:05AM
2023
|
It was a close competition for the promotion.
Unfortunately, nepotism gave my rival a *relative* adv
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 04, 11:05PM
2023
|
Highland hospitality
A commercial traveller was driving through the Scottish Highlands when his car
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 04, 10:05PM
2023
|
Whats the best gift to give someone?
A broken Drum.
Nobody can beat it.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 04, 9:05PM
2023
|
One night, a man walks into a couple of bars.
"Sorry pal, but that ain't gonna get you anywhere" say
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 04, 8:05PM
2023
|
Let’s Pretend We’re Married
A man and woman who had never met before, but were both married to other
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 04, 7:05PM
2023
|
How do you get 100 math teachers into a room that only fits 99?
You carry the 1.
... |
3
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
9
|
Dec 04, 6:05AM
2023
|
A guy was standing in line at a pharmacy...
and overheard the person in front of him purchase a box
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Dec 04, 5:05AM
2023
|
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns dont work!
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 04, 4:05AM
2023
|
An interviewer once asked me. "I heard you were very fast at math".
Me: "yes, as a matter of fact I
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Dec 04, 3:05AM
2023
|
My wife left me because she didn’t think I would ever get over my Phil Collins obsession
But..Take a
... |
1
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Dec 04, 2:05AM
2023
|
500 dollars
Dave, Carl and Carl's wife, sara were playing cards on Thursday morning. Dave's card fel
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 04, 1:05AM
2023
|
What is the polite answer to soy milk?
Encantado de conocerte, senor milk. Soy sauce.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 04, 12:05AM
2023
|
"Why is my sister named Vagina?" my son asked?
"well," I replied "you're both named after what you c
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 03, 11:05PM
2023
|
Two Southern bells are talking, and the one says to the other....
"In some states, men like to have
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 03, 10:05PM
2023
|
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a lamborghini in my garage
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 03, 9:05PM
2023
|
The hotdog vendor asked the Buddhist what they wanted.
"Make me one with everything"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 03, 8:05PM
2023
|
A detective was once called to a farm in rural Tennessee to investigate a murder. [OC]
Upon arriving
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 03, 7:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a sexuality when you’re attracted to both men and women but they’re not attracted t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 03, 5:05AM
2023
|
A little girl says to her mother: "Mummy, when you were away at work a strange lady came around"...
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Dec 03, 4:05AM
2023
|
What store do Storm Troopers shop at?
The one next to Target.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 03, 2:05AM
2023
|
I’m so hot..
My (66) wife (63) asked me what I was doing getting up in the middle of the night. I sa
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 03, 12:05AM
2023
|
I don't really know why I lost my job at the keyboard factory...
Apparently I just wasn't putting in
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 11:05PM
2023
|
One day a cop pulls over a van. When he walks up to the window, he sees 10 penguins sitting in the b
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 10:05PM
2023
|
The rule "i before e, except after c..."
has been disproven by science.
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Dec 02, 9:05PM
2023
|
Arnold's last name is redundantly racist sounding?
when realizing Schwarz is German for black...
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 8:05PM
2023
|
A married couple and a single man are stranded on a deserted island after their cruise ship sinks. [
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Dec 02, 7:05PM
2023
|
I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the digits.
So far, all I
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 6:05AM
2023
|
What do you even expect?
Three friends bragged about who has more sex.... Friend A said "You all hav
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 5:05AM
2023
|
My fiancé is blind in her left eye. I told her we need to switch to Apple products
That way she can
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 4:05AM
2023
|
I've just caught the wife reading all the "s" words in a dictionary!
I think she's up to something.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 3:05AM
2023
|
If you drive a Subaru backward, what are you?
U r a bus
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 2:05AM
2023
|
A priest walks into a hotel and books a room.
The priest says to the clerk.
“I assume the porn is d
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 1:05AM
2023
|
Parents, remind your kids to not do drugs.
They’re driving up prices for the rest of us.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 02, 12:05AM
2023
|
As someone in a wheelchair who desperately wants money, I scrolled through google how to do that.
"H
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 11:05PM
2023
|
Little Johny was assigned to perform an experiment for his biology class
Little Johny decided to run
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 01, 10:05PM
2023
|
I asked my dad why he walks across the path of our local clock store every day.
He told me it's some
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 9:05PM
2023
|
After fumbling through the fog for hours, in desperate search of an exit, I finally gave up.
Sitting
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 8:05PM
2023
|
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.
Bubba died in a fire and his body was bur
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Dec 01, 7:05PM
2023
|
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 8:05AM
2023
|
What’s the safest band to air drum to while driving?
Def Leppard
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 7:05AM
2023
|
The guy at the computer store may have mentioned that I needed more RAM on my laptop.
But I have no
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 6:05AM
2023
|
"Don't get aroused, John, just stay calm," the man whispered during the digital rectal exam.
"My nam
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 5:05AM
2023
|
A guy gets too drunk while playing golf and forgets what hole he’s on
He sees a woman ahead of him a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 4:05AM
2023
|
You know that Albert Einstein was a pretty smart fella…
But his brother Frank was a monster.
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Dec 01, 3:05AM
2023
|
"Where should I put my pants, doctor?" I asked just before my prostate exam.
"Over there on the chai
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Dec 01, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why doesn’t Santa have any children of his own?
He only comes once a year and it’s always down the c
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 1:05AM
2023
|
When is the best day to eat McDonald’s?
Fry Day (from my 7 year old)
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Dec 01, 12:05AM
2023
|
The other customers applauded when I told off the "Karen" that was holding up the line.
I found out
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 11:05PM
2023
|
I have had sex with an unnatural number of women.
Its a maths joke
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 10:05PM
2023
|
How do you call a gender-neutral person who is lactose intolerant?
Non buy-dairy
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 30, 9:05PM
2023
|
A guy walks out of a crematorium with an empty waffle cone in his hand
"I misunderstood"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 8:05PM
2023
|
While on vacation in Mexico, a guy went to see the bullfights.
When it was over he went to a nearby
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 7:05PM
2023
|
Parenting is hard. I'm trying to teach my son that "vagina" isn't a dirty word.
He still needs to pi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 5:05AM
2023
|
I went to the doctor this morning and he told me that my cholesterol level was way too high.
He then
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 4:05AM
2023
|
Can you name all 10 of Santa's reindeer?
You have Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen.
Comet, Cupid, Don
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 3:05AM
2023
|
Mermaid Trainer
An old man losing a bar fight to a group of young punks. While on the ground, he kee
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do Greek people say when they see a cat?
Ψψψψψ
... |
1
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
9
|
Nov 30, 1:05AM
2023
|
So now, I'm, Just Fred
​
A Wyoming Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling f
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 30, 12:05AM
2023
|
Is "buttcheecks" one word?
Or should I spread them apart?
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 29, 11:05PM
2023
|
What can you say both during sex and at a funeral?
I thought he'd last longer
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 29, 10:05PM
2023
|
What begins with E and ends in E but only has one letter?
Envelope
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 29, 9:05PM
2023
|
The welcoming committee assured our newest resident that we didn't pass judgment on our neighbors, b
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 29, 8:05PM
2023
|
A Dutch person and a Saudi person walk into a bar.
They each agreed for a tour of their country unde
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 29, 5:05AM
2023
|
Village Idiot
One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he sa
... |
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Nov 29, 4:05AM
2023
|
You know that video "Take on me" from a-ha?
That girl really liked the guy, but to me he looked kind
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 29, 3:05AM
2023
|
When I turned 18, I went down to the courthouse to petition to change my name.
The clerk asked me wh
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 29, 2:05AM
2023
|
David Hasselhoff refers to himself as the Hoff.
It's less of a hassle.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 29, 1:05AM
2023
|
If you HAD to get rid of one race, which one would you get axe?
Personally for me it would be the 2
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 29, 12:05AM
2023
|
What do plants do when one of their friends is sad?
They photosympathise.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 28, 11:05PM
2023
|
You don't wanna mess with me
A guy walks into a fancy club and right past the bouncer.
When the bou
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 28, 10:05PM
2023
|
What smells better than it tastes?
A nose.
Edit: r/woooosh you all
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 28, 9:05PM
2023
|
The welcoming committee assured our newest resident that we didn't pass judgment on our neighbors, b
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 28, 8:05PM
2023
|
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl."
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love and wan
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 28, 7:05PM
2023
|
I have 6 legs, 4 arms and a 3 heads. What am i?
A liar
... |
4
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Nov 28, 5:05AM
2023
|
Ice Fishing:
A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she wou
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 28, 4:05AM
2023
|
I've started investing in stocks: beef, chicken, vegetable...
One day I hope to become a bouillonair
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 28, 3:05AM
2023
|
So a guy has two buckets and goes to a farmer...
The guy says, "Hey there, sir! I heard you had some
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 28, 2:05AM
2023
|
What training do you need to be a garbage collector?
None. You just pick it up as you go along.
... |
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Nov 28, 1:05AM
2023
|
God approaches Adam in the Garden of Eden.
**God**: Adam, I have some news for you. Actually, I've g
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 28, 12:05AM
2023
|
A carnival worker hit us with a dad joke. I laughed, My kid groaned.
A local pop up carnival came th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 27, 11:05PM
2023
|
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." H
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 27, 10:05PM
2023
|
I told a joke on a zoom meeting but nobody laughed.
Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 27, 9:05PM
2023
|
The welcoming committee assured our newest resident that we didn't pass judgment on our neighbors, b
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 27, 8:05PM
2023
|
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident,
an Anchorage man answered his door to fin
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Nov 27, 7:05PM
2023
|
My 7yo today: Dad can I have some leftover turkey for lunch?
Me: Okay sure, do you want me to heat i
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 27, 5:05AM
2023
|
I don't like the word "grammar nazi", since it has the word nazi in it
I prefer to be called a write
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Nov 27, 4:05AM
2023
|
I accidentally swallowed a bunch of Scrabble Tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaste
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 27, 3:05AM
2023
|
People in the gym always ask me how I got so big
Being a bodybuilder, people are shocked at how big
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
6
|
Nov 27, 2:05AM
2023
|
Dad joke wosh...
I was at the fancy cookie shop and ordered up two cookies. Well, the cost of the co
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 27, 1:05AM
2023
|
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note
A woman, cra
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 27, 12:05AM
2023
|
My wife said that if I don't get off my computer and help her with the dishes she will slam my head
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 11:05PM
2023
|
A guy sees a sign in front of a house that says "Talking Dog: $10:
He walks up to the gate, and ther
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 10:05PM
2023
|
A pleasing pun from my girlfriend
My other half claims to disapprove of this sub, but she's a dad jo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 9:05PM
2023
|
Our research budget review was grim.
Turns out the helicopter ejector seat wasn't the only thing tha
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 8:05PM
2023
|
An Englishman, Frenchman and Turk
Were all in a train cabin. Feeling a little warm, the Frenchman op
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 7:05PM
2023
|
I got dad joked at the supermarket
I was at the supermarket, had my things scanned, and the total
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 9:05AM
2023
|
These hippy motherfuckers stole the amethyst i put on my fiance's wedding ring.
Can't have shit in b
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 26, 8:05AM
2023
|
A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for som
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 7:05AM
2023
|
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair ♿️
Guess who came crawling back.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 6:05AM
2023
|
I gave my best friend AirPods for his birthday
He cursed me out in sign language
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 5:05AM
2023
|
Russian prime minister Mishustin comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
"I fl
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 4:05AM
2023
|
What did the French trade mark lawyer say to his wife?
Je™
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 26, 3:05AM
2023
|
I went hunting for the first time and it went better than I could have possibly hoped
I got three co
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 2:05AM
2023
|
It was November 25th and the Indians on the reservation asked their new chief if it was going to be
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 1:05AM
2023
|
As a child I had a medical condition that meant I had to eat soil three times a day in order to surv
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 26, 12:05AM
2023
|
I put all my fury into my punches as I pummelled the idiotic man who stood at least a foot taller th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 25, 11:05PM
2023
|
One day, a boy comes home from school to find his mom waiting for him.
"I just got a call from your
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 25, 10:05PM
2023
|
What are some dad jokes you can actually act out / perform?
Some examples...
Whenever I need to cha
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 25, 9:05PM
2023
|
I used to take my girlfriend back home to her father.
Then I found out she was raised by a single mo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 25, 8:05PM
2023
|
On their wedding night, a die-hard golfer makes a confession to his new bride.
"Dearest, I love you
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 25, 7:05PM
2023
|
My wife told me to stop saying country puns.
I said Norway.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 25, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man drives past a retirement home on his way to work...
and is surprised to see three naked elderl
... |
1
|
4
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
13
|
Nov 25, 5:05AM
2023
|
I was in an 80s band called prevention.
It was better than The Cure.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 25, 4:05AM
2023
|
The bear joke
A hunter is walking in the woods searching for the biggest bear he can find when h
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 25, 3:05AM
2023
|
To the guy who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 25, 2:05AM
2023
|
Sharing is caring.
The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries, and a drink. He unw
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 25, 1:05AM
2023
|
My son: Dad, are you ever gonna show me how this calculator works?
Me: Oh you can count on it.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 25, 12:05AM
2023
|
It’s not that I don’t earn enough
It’s just the money doesn’t come frequently enough
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 24, 11:05PM
2023
|
A 17 year old male walks into a drug store
He says "I've been invited to Christmas dinner at my new
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Nov 24, 10:05PM
2023
|
When I was a child, they called it a multiplication table, but now, they apparently call it a produc
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 24, 9:05PM
2023
|
Bursting through the closet door was the most hideous thing I had ever seen.
From beneath me I heard
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 24, 8:05PM
2023
|
George was twenty years old and still living on a farm with his dad.
One day, George said to his fat
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Nov 24, 7:05PM
2023
|
A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows.
I said, "Yes, of course. That's 20 cows."
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 24, 5:05AM
2023
|
A möbius strip walks into a bar, distraught and crying
The bartender says “Oh no, Möbius Strip! Look
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 24, 4:05AM
2023
|
Uranus has only orbited the sun 2.5 times since it was discovered in 1781…
Give Pluto a break man he
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Nov 24, 3:05AM
2023
|
Pope in limousine
The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 24, 2:05AM
2023
|
To whoever stole my highlighter:
I’ll find you; mark my words!
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 24, 1:05AM
2023
|
It’s clean
So I worked late last night, and when I left I detoured 2 blocks to buy a newspaper. Whil
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 24, 12:05AM
2023
|
Score for the wife
Me, putting on a nicer shirt for Thanksgiving…
“This shirt needs ironing, but I h
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 23, 11:05PM
2023
|
Yo mama is so fat, that if she could communicate with the dead…
… she wouldn’t be called a medium, b
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 23, 10:05PM
2023
|
13yo Son: "When I get my new computer built, Flight Simulator is going to run smooth as butter." My
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 23, 9:05PM
2023
|
I didn't think being a serial killer would be this much fun!
I mean, my grocery store won't let me i
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 23, 8:05PM
2023
|
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island
The only thing on the islan
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 23, 7:05PM
2023
|
The only thing flat earthers have to fear...
...is sphere itself.
(Hope this gets upvotes from arou
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 23, 5:05AM
2023
|
A tourist returns back home
A tourist travels all over Asia and has unprotected sex wherever he goes
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 23, 4:05AM
2023
|
Elton John discovered some high-end denims and decided to throw out his regular Levi's. He said
good
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 23, 3:05AM
2023
|
Two conspiracy nuts end up at the gates of heaven before God
​
God says to them "You may
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 23, 2:05AM
2023
|
The bar tender said “sorry we don’t serve time travelers here”…
A time traveler walked into a bar.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 23, 1:05AM
2023
|
The couple was watching television at night.
The husband says, "Can I know why you've been sulking s
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 23, 12:05AM
2023
|
A mathematician comes home at 3:00am and gets an earful from his wife…
“You’re late” yells his wife,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 22, 11:05PM
2023
|
During World War II, there’s a brutal battle between the Allied Forces and the Germans.
The Germans
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 22, 10:05PM
2023
|
The furniture store salesman told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I said, “
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 22, 9:05PM
2023
|
Land of Lakes is more racist now.
They removed the Native American, and kept the land.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 22, 8:05PM
2023
|
A man goes for a walk in the park. On his walk, he sees two men sitting on a park bench and looking
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 22, 7:05PM
2023
|
What's a Karen's pronouns?
Sue/Them
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Nov 22, 6:05AM
2023
|
An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting a divorce. 45 years of mis
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 22, 5:05AM
2023
|
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 22, 4:05AM
2023
|
I asked my wife what she wants four our anniversary...
She said "a divorce"
I said " I wasn't plann
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 22, 3:05AM
2023
|
Heard this one at an auto parts store.
I went to an auto shop the other day to get a new bulb for on
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 22, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do you a call the sexuality where you are attracted to men and women, but they're not attracted
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 22, 1:05AM
2023
|
A congress made up entirely of horses wouldn’t get anything done…
Every vote would be nay.
(From my
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 22, 12:05AM
2023
|
10 Germans walk into a bar
the gunner opens fire
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 21, 11:05PM
2023
|
After months of scrimping and bargain-hunting, a woman begged her husband for more money. “Can’t you
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 21, 10:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a ghost with boobs?
A paranormal en-titty.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 21, 9:05PM
2023
|
Suddenly, objects flew off the fireplace mantle crashing down to floor as though pushed by an unseen
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 21, 8:05PM
2023
|
A farmer drove over to his neighbor’s house and knocked on the door...
A boy, about 9, opened the do
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 21, 7:05PM
2023
|
Is your refrigerator running?
If so, I may vote for it.
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Nov 21, 6:05AM
2023
|
a man takes his 7-year-old daughter to visit a castle...
while they are visiting the castle, they co
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Nov 21, 5:05AM
2023
|
What sound does a speeding fungus make?
shROOooomm
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 21, 4:05AM
2023
|
My Mexican friend told me “I only know one sentence in English.”
When I asked him what it was, he sa
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Nov 21, 3:05AM
2023
|
Telling your suitcase there’s no vacation this year is tough.
Emotional baggage is the worst!
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Nov 21, 2:05AM
2023
|
I was working in an ice cream shop and we ran out of vanilla ice cream
About 10 minutes later a lady
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 21, 1:05AM
2023
|
Someone stole all my lamps you'd think I'd be upset...
but I'm actually delighted.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 21, 12:05AM
2023
|
''Nice to meat you" I said to the butcher.
I see that you are not very cleaver.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 20, 11:05PM
2023
|
2 hunters are lost in the woods...
After wandering around for a couple hours they decide to weigh th
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 20, 10:05PM
2023
|
Got my kid with this one last night
I've having an issue with the heat in my place, and my son was c
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 20, 9:05PM
2023
|
Why is everyone angry at lazy people?
We literally did nothing.
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Nov 20, 8:05PM
2023
|
Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Nov 20, 7:05PM
2023
|
My daughter wanted a bouncy castle for her birthday. The guy said the rental was $50, and the set-up
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 20, 7:05AM
2023
|
I went to McDonald's today. I smiled at the bloke and said "Can I have a small shake please?"
He tol
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 20, 6:05AM
2023
|
Does anyone know a good towel joke?
I really like dry humor.
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 20, 5:05AM
2023
|
Once, in the fifteenth Century B.C., there lived a pharaoh.
And that pharaoh once got a sexually tra
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 20, 4:05AM
2023
|
I was dating a girl named Ruth but I broke up with her.
I'm ruthless.
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 20, 3:05AM
2023
|
In a world where beans had a secret society, the leader declared, "We must stop spilling the beans!"
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 20, 2:05AM
2023
|
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for dinner.
She suggested, "How about one of those places whe
... |
3
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 20, 1:05AM
2023
|
My husband came up with this one while we were out shopping
Where does Santa go to buy stuff for the
... |
3
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 20, 12:05AM
2023
|
I once saw a death by shopping center.
Poor bastard got mailed.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 19, 11:05PM
2023
|
What did your husband get YOU?
Three southern belles stood together gossiping. The topic of discussi
... |
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Nov 19, 10:05PM
2023
|
I went into the office early one morning and switched the M and N keys on everyone's keyboard. Some
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 9:05PM
2023
|
On their date, the palindrome enthusiast proudly declared, "A nut for a jar of tuna!"
Unfortunately,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 8:05PM
2023
|
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods,
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Nov 19, 7:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a sexuality where you’re attracted to men and women but they are not attracted to y
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 19, 7:05AM
2023
|
So a British guy gets a call from a man asking for him to go through a maze.
The man asks, “What typ
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 6:05AM
2023
|
A woman walks into a grocery store looking for broccoli
She asks a man restocking the produce, "Wher
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 5:05AM
2023
|
A city slicker buys a farm…
…and walks to his neighbor to buy some farm animals. He tells his neighb
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 4:05AM
2023
|
I just found out that "Aaargh!" Isn't a real word.
I cannot express how angry I am.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 3:05AM
2023
|
Shock
I was completely shocked when I discovered my partner knew I was cheating.
I understand tha
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 2:05AM
2023
|
When I was a child a police officer came to our school and gave a speech on drugs.
I couldn't unders
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 1:05AM
2023
|
What's a super power most children have?
Supervision
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 19, 12:05AM
2023
|
I should have told my protégé our target was imagination.
Though I do give him props; suspending an
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 18, 11:05PM
2023
|
A farmer buys a new rooster.
Puts him in the coop with a dozen hens and an ageing old cock. The old
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 18, 10:05PM
2023
|
I went into a pet store to buy my parrot a new stand. They wanted $500 for it. I told them that was
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 18, 9:05PM
2023
|
Shock
I was completely shocked when I discovered my partner knew I was cheating.
I understand tha
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 18, 8:05PM
2023
|
If r/Jokes posts were like YouTube videos
Joke title: IS THIS THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST JOKE?
Hello welc
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 18, 7:05PM
2023
|
What three letter word starts with gas?
Car
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 18, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man named Bart walks into a bar.
The bartender shoots him on sight.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 18, 5:05AM
2023
|
To whoever stole my magazines:
You’ve got issues.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 18, 3:05AM
2023
|
I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith
I never found out the name of his other leg though
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 18, 2:05AM
2023
|
A nervous young priest…
is preparing for his first sermon. He goes to the elder bishop for advice, w
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 18, 1:05AM
2023
|
While washing clothes I found $5. I gotta be more careful.
Money laundering is a very serious crime.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 18, 12:05AM
2023
|
I sat down on the porta-potty to relieve myself.
My balls touched the frothy blue shit water.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 11:05PM
2023
|
Unusable name
A man comes to the birth registration office to register his newborn son.
The
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 17, 10:05PM
2023
|
This morning Siri said "Don't call me Shirley"
I accidentally left my phone on airplane mode.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 9:05PM
2023
|
She's a psychopathic, apathetic empath, so beware.
She feels how you feel when she hurts you, but sh
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 17, 8:05PM
2023
|
Little Johnny is playing with his electric train set in the living room…
…and his mom is in the kitc
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 7:05PM
2023
|
Whenever I eat probiotic yogurt, I make sure to remind people...
...that I'm a man of many cultures.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 5:05AM
2023
|
A mother and her teenage son were walking on the beach...
Suddenly the son asks:
"Mom, what's an
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 4:05AM
2023
|
Someone stole my dictionary.
I have no words to describe how I feel about this.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 3:05AM
2023
|
I thought my wife was joking when she said she wanted to go to a Monkees tribute concert in Switzerl
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 2:05AM
2023
|
This guy told me that he has a terrible fear of songs by the Eagles.
I told him to “Take it easy!”
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 1:05AM
2023
|
In a doctors office
Woman: “Doctor, how is he? Any news?”
Doctor: “Well the important thing is, he
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 17, 12:05AM
2023
|
I bought some shoes from my drug dealer.
I dunno what he laced them with but I've been tripping all
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 16, 11:05PM
2023
|
A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 16, 10:05PM
2023
|
If you drive while stoned…
are you automatically taking the high road?
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
7
|
Nov 16, 9:05PM
2023
|
When I was at my friend's house, I took a huge dump.
I have just the place for it at home.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 16, 8:05PM
2023
|
Three men are in prison in Soviet Russia...
... And they start explaining how they wound up in priso
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 16, 7:05PM
2023
|
Womb is pronounced as "woom" and tomb as "toom".
It's only fair that bomb should go "boom".
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 16, 8:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a female rapper?
38 Cent
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 16, 7:05AM
2023
|
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 16, 6:05AM
2023
|
Everyone knows that actions speak louder than words.
Yet, for some reason, my English teacher gave m
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 16, 5:05AM
2023
|
My friends convinced me I was too drunk to drive my car and to take the bus instead...
...Turned out
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 16, 4:05AM
2023
|
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
He
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 16, 3:05AM
2023
|
I shot a nice, big mallard on the marsh the other day.
Surprisingly, it ducked.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 16, 2:05AM
2023
|
A man once wanted to earn some money and went to the north...
3 months pass...
One day he asks h
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 16, 1:05AM
2023
|
My girlfriend dumped me so I stole her wheelchair
Guess who came crawling back
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 16, 12:05AM
2023
|
Being immortal superhero, I wasn't terribly concerned when a bullet put a hole through the middle of
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 15, 11:05PM
2023
|
A husband and a wife over their marriage had eight kids.One day the husband notices that their sixth
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 15, 10:05PM
2023
|
I think my girlfriend is a 10 but she says she knows she’s really a 2
She says she’s nonbinary
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 15, 9:05PM
2023
|
The article quoted the billionaire as saying, “To celebrate the birth of our child, we are going to
... |
1
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
|
4
|
Nov 15, 8:05PM
2023
|
A judge calls opposing council into his chambers . . .
. . . and says "Gentlemen, I've called you he
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 15, 7:05PM
2023
|
My GF said that she will break up with me if I sing "I'm a believer"
I thought she was kidding, but
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Nov 15, 6:05AM
2023
|
Man walks into a bar
A man walks into a fancy bar and orders a glass of wine. It's early in the even
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 15, 5:05AM
2023
|
Sure, everyone's heard of Socrates, Sophocles, and Hippocrates, but few seem to know of Popsicles.
H
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 15, 4:05AM
2023
|
Justice is a dish best served cold.
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
Nov 15, 3:05AM
2023
|
What's one thing you should never ask a Maths Teacher about?
Infinity, because they can go on about
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 15, 2:05AM
2023
|
Girl winks at the bartender and asks, "Is it true hot chicks don't pay for their drinks here?"
Barte
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 15, 1:05AM
2023
|
Why was algebra easier for the ancient Romans?
Because back then, X always equaled 10.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
Nov 15, 12:05AM
2023
|
barely holding on NNN
and why is my sister wearing tiny miniskirts at home recently?
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 14, 11:05PM
2023
|
Whose the idiot?
The beginning of the first class in college a professor wanted to stir things up, t
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 14, 10:05PM
2023
|
Tampax have released a new tampon, with tinsel instead of string.
Just in time for the holiday perio
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 14, 9:05PM
2023
|
Did you hear about the shroom dealer who was arrested for cannibalism?
Yeah, he was tripping on ball
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 14, 8:05PM
2023
|
Guy walks into a store...
Guy walks into a store and asks the clerk, "Where's the alcohol?"
Clerk r
... |
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 14, 7:05PM
2023
|
I have tattoos on my shoulder and when people are sad, I let them color them in.
Some people just ne
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 14, 6:05AM
2023
|
One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 14, 5:05AM
2023
|
The inventor of the ballet skirt was really struggling with what to name it...
Until he finally put
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Nov 14, 4:05AM
2023
|
The pilot and copilot are coming into LAX and they are nervous.
Sweat pouring off their brows, they
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
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0
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3
|
Nov 14, 3:05AM
2023
|
What do you call someone who buys and sells shrimps?
A prawn broker
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 14, 2:05AM
2023
|
A man went skydiving...
A man went skydiving for the first time.
The pilot went to find the man’s w
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Nov 14, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife is one of the clumsiest people I know.
I'm so glad she fell for me
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Nov 14, 12:05AM
2023
|
There was an old note pinned to the bulletin board.
It read, "Keep me posted."
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 13, 11:05PM
2023
|
I went to a Paraplegic Strip Club the other day . . .
NSFW
>!The place was crawling with pussy.!
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Nov 13, 10:05PM
2023
|
How do you say constipated in German?
Farfrompoopin
... |
1
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
1
|
Nov 13, 9:05PM
2023
|
"Of course you can marry my daughter, you're like the son I never had!" the man happily proclaimed t
... |
1
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
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1
|
Nov 13, 8:05PM
2023
|
A waiter takes an order from a customer who asks for half a Caesar salad.
The waiter says "Well, we
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Nov 13, 7:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a dying airport computer?
A terminal terminal terminal.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 13, 6:05AM
2023
|
A physicist, an engineer and a statistician are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 meters away
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 13, 5:05AM
2023
|
Why did the transgender man only eat salads?
He was a herbivore.
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 13, 4:05AM
2023
|
I went on a date with a blonde woman last night.
"Do you have any kids?" she asked.
"Yes," I replie
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 13, 3:05AM
2023
|
What did router say to the doctor?
It hurts when IP.
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
Nov 13, 2:05AM
2023
|
A guy comes back home to his small town from overseas at the end of WWII. The town plans a big parad
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 13, 1:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a skydive without a parachute?
A Bye-dive.
(Courtesy of my 7yo)
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
Nov 13, 12:05AM
2023
|
I can tell when someone is tired of my bad jokes.
It's when the punchline is the trajectory of their
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 12, 11:05PM
2023
|
Robot Bartender makes a great Martini
A guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender. The robot s
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
Nov 12, 10:05PM
2023
|
I was sat next to a pirate in the doctors.
We were exchanging small talk when I asked him why he was
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 12, 9:05PM
2023
|
Have you heard of the man that can speak to vegetables?
He wrote a book about it called "Jack and th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 12, 8:05PM
2023
|
A soldier returns home to his wife after a year-long deployment overseas.
He wants to show her how h
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Nov 12, 7:05PM
2023
|
So this dyslexic walks into a bra...
Sry yall its all I had to offer. Wanted to stop in and say than
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 12, 5:05AM
2023
|
Martinis are like breasts.
One's not enough and three are too many.
... |
0
|
1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Nov 12, 4:05AM
2023
|
I was born with 5 dicks.
My pants fit like a glove.
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 12, 3:05AM
2023
|
How does a redhead pleasure themselves?
Gingerly
... |
0
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0
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1
|
0
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0
|
2
|
Nov 12, 2:05AM
2023
|
I hate all this sex on the TV
I keep falling off
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 12, 1:05AM
2023
|
When a woman squirts, it isn’t pee..
It’s twater
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 12, 12:05AM
2023
|
My political beliefs are like my penis.
They both lean slightly to the left.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 11, 11:05PM
2023
|
My dad told us, “I know you guys hate it, but I’m going to wear Velcro shoes from now on….
..I mean,
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 11, 10:05PM
2023
|
I always keep a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet
It reminds me why I have no money in it.
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 11, 9:05PM
2023
|
I still see your shadows in my room
Can’t take back the love that I gave you
... |
1
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0
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1
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0
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0
|
3
|
Nov 11, 8:05PM
2023
|
It is/was/will be my Cake Day, so here's a favorite: A woman joins a country club, and when she hear
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 11, 7:05PM
2023
|
I'm going to open a food truck that sells chicken sandwiches. Park it next to Chick-fil-A and open i
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 11, 5:05AM
2023
|
Morning sex....
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 11, 4:05AM
2023
|
How many Russians does it take to change a lightbulb?
10. One to hold the lightbulb and the other 9
... |
1
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
1
|
Nov 11, 3:05AM
2023
|
This Halloween I went as a 'former gifted student.'
I just wore normal clothes, and when people aske
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 11, 2:05AM
2023
|
Guiness Book of records wanted proof that I broke the world record for being constipated the longest
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 11, 1:05AM
2023
|
Make the horse laugh
There's a sign outside a local bar that says, Anybody who can make our horse la
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 11, 12:05AM
2023
|
What do people say after they hit a large animal while driving?
Oh, deer!
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 10, 11:05PM
2023
|
After a grueling 12 hour shift I felt my mood lift as I walked in on my girlfriend wearing nothing b
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 10, 10:05PM
2023
|
What’s a pirates favorite letter?
When someone says “R” you say you’d think that but his first love
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 10, 9:05PM
2023
|
A Jew tried to convert a bear.
When he walked to the synagogue, tattered and torn, he proclaimed: “M
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 10, 8:05PM
2023
|
Just in time for Thanksgiving: Boys have a thing and girls don't.
One November afternoon when my
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 10, 7:05PM
2023
|
My wife from Chernobyl used to be an “ugly duckling”.
Until she had her glow up.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
2
|
Nov 10, 5:05AM
2023
|
Two chemist walk into a bar...
...and, sniggering, the first orders a glass of "H2O", and the second
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 10, 4:05AM
2023
|
What do you do when you are attacked by a group of clowns?
Go for the Juggler!
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 10, 3:05AM
2023
|
Chuck Norris...
...built a hospital so his mother could give birth to him.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 10, 2:05AM
2023
|
Did you hear about the phlebotomist that had to quit her job?
She said her work was all in vein
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 10, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife wanted to go on vacation, but I wanted a staycation...
In the end, we settled it with an alt
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 10, 12:05AM
2023
|
I told my wife I love her endlessly.
She slapped me and asked "Who's Leslie!?!"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 11:05PM
2023
|
Kathy's New Job
After a long stint in prison, Kathy managed to secure herself a job at a candy shop
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 10:05PM
2023
|
What happens when your hands get sick?
They don't feel well.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 9:05PM
2023
|
My neighbor was searching for his dog who stole the steak he was searing for his supper.
Or rather,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 8:05PM
2023
|
Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?
Farmer: which one, black one or white on
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 7:05PM
2023
|
Someone just called my phone, sneezed, and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of all the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 6:05AM
2023
|
Three thieves are caught
Three thieves are caught stealing fruits from the king's garden.
The king
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 5:05AM
2023
|
A wealthy Frenchman was showing off his yachts. “This is un, this is deux, this is trois, this is qu
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 4:05AM
2023
|
My dad asked me, “Did you get an A in your Spanish exam?”
Me: C.
Dad: Well done. I knew you can do
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 3:05AM
2023
|
Why don't boxers have sex before the big fight?
They usually don't like each other.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 09, 2:05AM
2023
|
Everyone knows Dave
My favorite joke: Everyone Knows Dave
Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "Y
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 09, 1:05AM
2023
|
My poop joke didn't win first place in the competition. It didn't even make top five...
...but a lot
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 09, 12:05AM
2023
|
I joke that two types of guys are attracted to me, toxic or foot fetishists.
Then I got a tomcat who
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 08, 11:05PM
2023
|
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 08, 10:05PM
2023
|
The inventor of autocorrect died
His funeral will be held tomato
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 08, 9:05PM
2023
|
Why did my writing teacher gave me an F?
Because I was missing an ending, and I should have—
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 08, 8:05PM
2023
|
A Union Steward goes to a brothel . . .
. . . and asks the Madam "Is this a union house?"
"No it's
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 08, 7:05PM
2023
|
What is a really loud colour?
YELLow
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 08, 6:05AM
2023
|
News story reminds me of old JFK "golden toilet" joke
Read in the news that thieves had been charged
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 08, 5:05AM
2023
|
My son is at that age where he's curious about the human body.
I guess I'll have to hide it somewher
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 08, 4:05AM
2023
|
My wife thinks the dog can talk to her and that every bark is a word. My family asked what it was li
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 08, 3:05AM
2023
|
I made love to my wife this past weekend for an hour and one minute straight
Then again, it was dayl
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Nov 08, 2:05AM
2023
|
[NSFW]A gay couple is on a transnational flight...
Their names are Rick and Sam. Rick turns to Sam a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 08, 1:05AM
2023
|
My son asked me if I was glad there wasn’t an “e” in my name.
I said, “yes because otherwise I’d be
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 08, 12:05AM
2023
|
A walrus was trained to be in the millitairy
He became a Navy seal
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 07, 11:05PM
2023
|
An Italian guy is out picking up women in Rome. While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 07, 10:05PM
2023
|
Went on a date with a girl once and she told me she played goalie on her soccer team
Right at that m
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 07, 9:05PM
2023
|
A magician once told me that I felt a little horse.
I couldn’t believe he fit it in that box.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Nov 07, 8:05PM
2023
|
A Mormon and the Irishman are on a plane
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from Lo
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 07, 7:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a food fight with an unlimited amount of food?
All you can yeet.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 07, 5:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a woman with a yeast infection and a sense of humour?
A fun-gal.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 07, 4:05AM
2023
|
3,027 years from now, life will either be REALLY good, or REALLY bad!!!
It's 5050.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 07, 3:05AM
2023
|
Just an innocent question
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Brad Pitt's is short, Madonna does n
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Nov 07, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do you call someone allergic to galaxies?
Galactose intolerant.
... |
0
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0
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
|
Nov 07, 1:05AM
2023
|
Little Johnny
Little Johnny wakes up in the hospital after having his appendix taken out only to fin
... |
1
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
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1
|
Nov 07, 12:05AM
2023
|
Who was the best smelling Pope?
Pope Pourri.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 11:05PM
2023
|
A burglar broke into a home…
He heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
Thinking it was ju
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 10:05PM
2023
|
Poop jokes aren't my favorite.
But they're a solid #2
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 9:05PM
2023
|
Having lost track of the conversation, I asked, "Wait, which eye doctor are you seeing?"
Shooting me
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 8:05PM
2023
|
Professor X asks a girl
"What is your mutant power?" Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to tu
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 7:05PM
2023
|
I arrived early at the restaurant last night. “Do you mind waiting for a bit?”, the manager asked. “
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 5:05AM
2023
|
My wife claims that I'm cheap
But I'm not buying it
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 4:05AM
2023
|
The bartender says we don’t serve time travellers!!
A time traveller walks into a bar
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 3:05AM
2023
|
A court joke from a joke book published in 1904:
Judge—' 'What's the charge agin' this man?"
Offic
... |
1
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
1
|
Nov 06, 2:05AM
2023
|
I always have sex right when the clock changes for daylight savings...
My girlfriend always seems im
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 1:05AM
2023
|
My mate just watched the Chernobyl documentary and, having grown up in Ukraine in the 1980s, he was
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 06, 12:05AM
2023
|
A scientist dropped a burger and a broccoli from the top of a building to see which one of them woul
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 05, 11:05PM
2023
|
A 90 year old man goes to the doctor for his annual checkup.
Fifteen minutes later, the doctor says,
... |
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Nov 05, 10:05PM
2023
|
My doctor told me I am going deaf
The news was hard to hear
... |
3
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Nov 05, 9:05PM
2023
|
I visited my friends home and had to use the bathroom
When I was done I couldn't find the poop knife
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 05, 8:05PM
2023
|
A mathematician comes home from a symposium to be met at the door by his furious wife.
"What's the b
... |
4
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
9
|
Nov 05, 7:05PM
2023
|
A priest, a monk and a rabbit walk into a blood bank to donate blood...
The nurse asks the priest, "
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 05, 7:05AM
2023
|
I have an axe owned by George Washington.
My great, great, great grandfather had to replace the hand
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 05, 6:05AM
2023
|
I hate it when someone depressurizes the airlock before I've put on my spacesuit.
It really makes my
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 05, 5:05AM
2023
|
A Man Accidentally Elbows a Woman's Boob
as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apo
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 05, 4:05AM
2023
|
What did one toilet say to the other?
*"You look flushed"*
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Nov 05, 3:05AM
2023
|
The view from halfway down sure is nice.
I'm so glad that I chose the stairs instead of the elevator
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 05, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do you get when you cross a hippie and a ninja?
Peace and Quiet.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 05, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife said, "You've told me 14 tennis jokes today and it's getting annoying!"
I responded, "Right
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 05, 1:05AM
2023
|
Two Thai girls asked me whether I wanted to sleep with them...
They said it would be like winning th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 05, 12:05AM
2023
|
Handjob
My wife gave me a handjob the other day using Vaseline. I came three times trying to wash t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 11:05PM
2023
|
My wife text me “I love u”
I said that’s my favorite letter, too.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 10:05PM
2023
|
I visited my friends home and had to use the bathroom
When I was done I couldn't find the poop knife
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 9:05PM
2023
|
Once there was a women's bowling team. Everyone on the bowling team was so-so at bowling, with the e
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 8:05PM
2023
|
Ok, so there this girl sleeping in religion class The teaches asks the class "who is our lord and sa
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 04, 7:05AM
2023
|
A long-time billionaire bachelor decided it was time to marry…
So he and his assistants organized an
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
9
|
Nov 04, 6:05AM
2023
|
My brother's a drummer and had twin daughters. You'll never guess what he named them!
Anna 1, Anna 2
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 5:05AM
2023
|
Rick had been in police work for 25 years.
Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 4:05AM
2023
|
The salesman at the furniture store told me, “This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems.”
I
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 3:05AM
2023
|
My Dad just told me this:
Where do bad rainbows go?
(They go to Prism)
They get a light sentence t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 2:05AM
2023
|
Rate my dad joke
Me: babe, if I get baby cows tattooed on the back of my legs will you tell me I hav
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 1:05AM
2023
|
“It sucks being homeless” I thought as I asked a stranger for spare change.
A 1000 degree cinnamon b
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 04, 12:05AM
2023
|
A modest country joke [OC]
I once visited a small town. It was a country town. I asked the locals "W
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 03, 11:05PM
2023
|
What is the difference between dad jokes and the Spanish language?
With the Spanish language, you ro
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 03, 10:05PM
2023
|
I crashed my stats final while drunk.
Remember folks don't drink, and Derive.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 03, 9:05PM
2023
|
The farmer sells his horse for $2000 to a buyer at the market.
The farmer initially promises to deli
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 03, 8:05PM
2023
|
I haven't talked to my wife in 7 years.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 03, 7:05AM
2023
|
One Day At School,
The teacher asked the kids to stand and tell the class what their Father does for
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 03, 6:05AM
2023
|
"You wouldn‘t like me when I‘m angry....because I always back up my rage with facts and documented s
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 03, 5:05AM
2023
|
A joke I came up with that I told people in a dream this morning...
A ship belonging to a seafood co
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 03, 4:05AM
2023
|
I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today
His mom got really angry!
... |
1
|
2
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
11
|
Nov 03, 3:05AM
2023
|
Hippos can swim and run faster than humans. What does this mean?
The bycicle is the only way to beat
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Nov 03, 2:05AM
2023
|
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
A
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 03, 1:05AM
2023
|
"Now Dave, remember that it's perfectly natural to become aroused during this procedure", my proctol
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 03, 12:05AM
2023
|
A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one evening...
The man tells his wife, "I read an article
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 11:05PM
2023
|
What happens when someone slaps you around with high frequency?
It Hertz
yeah
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 02, 10:05PM
2023
|
My visiting British friend looked confused when I brought him to a gay bar.
I quickly explained that
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 02, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man was travelling the countryside with his 8-year-old daughter. One particularly stormy night the
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Nov 02, 8:05PM
2023
|
A shark can swim faster than a human, but a human can run faster than a shark…
..So in a triathlon i
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 8:05AM
2023
|
Bike
There was a man whose name was David, his pride and joy was his beautiful and powerful bike. He
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 7:05AM
2023
|
Supporting men's health, an experiment, introducing Dad Serious
**TLDR**
This month r/dadjokes is r
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 6:05AM
2023
|
A joke about an old Jew.
For context, the Western Wall, found on the Temple Mount is the holiest sit
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 5:05AM
2023
|
Three men are on a boat
they have four cigarettes but nothing to light them with.
So?
So they thro
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 4:05AM
2023
|
Saddam Hussein was severely lactose intolerant
He killed the Kurds.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man is playing golf, but keeps missing all his shots, and swearing, until a priest comes up to him
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 2:05AM
2023
|
2 goldfish are in a tank
One turned to the other and said "How do you drive this thing?"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 1:05AM
2023
|
Why is your exclamation point so hard to press?
I guess you don't use it that much.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 02, 12:05AM
2023
|
I was furious at my English teacher for dropping me down to a B for missing just a single period.
Ho
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 11:05PM
2023
|
My wife asked me if I’ve seen the dog bowl.
I said I never knew he did.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 10:05PM
2023
|
For Halloween this year, I wanted to dress in period costume.
So I went as a tampon.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 9:05PM
2023
|
When I was thirteen, I dreamed of having a girlfriend who had huge tits someday.
When I was thirteen
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 8:05PM
2023
|
I used to be addicted to Masturbation but now I am addicted to Sex
My addiction got out of hand.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 6:05AM
2023
|
After my accident, I woke up in hospital with a sexy nurse standing over me.
She said, “You may not
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 5:05AM
2023
|
My 2 year old son just hit me with a solid dad joke
While at dinner, I got up to get water and burpe
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 4:05AM
2023
|
The other day my girlfriend approached me and said "I'm sick of you always pretending to be a privat
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 3:05AM
2023
|
At an Iron Maiden concert a girl asked for my number.
I am not a number, I am a free man!
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Nov 01, 2:05AM
2023
|
Many years ago I went to my High School prom
It was a very involved process.
Leading up to the prom
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Nov 01, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife told me she couldn't stay married to a cross dresser.
So I packed her things and left.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Nov 01, 12:05AM
2023
|
A father takes his son to the casino.
A father takes his son to the casino and they lose $1,000 in o
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 11:05PM
2023
|
What’s 6 without the S?
9
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 10:05PM
2023
|
I caught my bitch cheating on me at the park.
Last time I'll let her off the leash.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 9:05PM
2023
|
Southern Charm
Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless w
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 31, 8:05PM
2023
|
What did one black hole say to the other black hole?
You suck.
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 31, 9:05AM
2023
|
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age.
The next day she loc
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 8:05AM
2023
|
I went to the store and bought some tomatoes
I raised them as my own, taught them everything. They
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 7:05AM
2023
|
I caught my bitch cheating on me at the park.
Last time I'll let her off the leash.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 6:05AM
2023
|
Two mischievous boys, aged 8 and 10, are known for causing all sorts of trouble in their town. Their
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 5:05AM
2023
|
A famous astronaut died..
.. I read the orbituary in the paper
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 4:05AM
2023
|
"Thats quite a nasty bug you've got there", Fred's doctor declared.
"Go fuck your mother, you limp-d
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 3:05AM
2023
|
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “N
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 2:05AM
2023
|
My sister fell in love with an astronaut but it abruptly ended.
Turns out, he always wanted space.
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
6
|
Oct 31, 1:05AM
2023
|
"Now, Dave, it's perfectly natural to becone aroused during this procedure", my proctologist intoned
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 31, 12:05AM
2023
|
A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 11:05PM
2023
|
How do you turn a rectangle into a line?
>!__________________!<
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 10:05PM
2023
|
I saw a Star Wars porn parody one time
I'll never look at the ewoks the same
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man is about to walk into a bar, when a num holding a sign that reads "alcohol is evil" stops him.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 8:05PM
2023
|
My wife said, “You really have no sense of direction, do you?”
I said, “Where did that come from?”
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 6:05AM
2023
|
Once upon a time, Joe goes to Europe.
One day, he walks into a bar and orders three beers from the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 5:05AM
2023
|
The Batmobile breaks down and Batman shouts “quick Robin, fetch the battery!”
Robin turns to Batman,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 4:05AM
2023
|
An economics professor was walking with a student
when the student looked down and said, “Look! A $5
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 3:05AM
2023
|
What does DNA stand for?
National dyslexic Association
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 2:05AM
2023
|
A English man, an Irish man and an American are stranded on an island, until they find a genie.
The
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 30, 1:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a restaurant that sells only beans ?
A gas station.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 29, 11:05PM
2023
|
I walked up to my boss, pushed them out of their chair, sat in their chair, and said "I'm the boss n
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 29, 10:05PM
2023
|
I ate some rice
It was funny rice
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 29, 9:05PM
2023
|
The priest angrily asks the altar boy standing two meters away,
"Are you secretly drinking the holy
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 29, 8:05PM
2023
|
What type of car did Jesus drive?
A Christ-ler.
... |
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Oct 29, 7:05AM
2023
|
"The Flintstones" is controversial in the United Arab Emirates.
People in Dubai don't like it, but t
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 29, 6:05AM
2023
|
I have a great Nirvana joke!
Never mind
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 29, 5:05AM
2023
|
If Elon bought Reddit, what would he call it?
eXit
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 29, 4:05AM
2023
|
I always say go big or go home
That's why when my girlfriend suggested sex I went home
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 29, 3:05AM
2023
|
What's the only thing vegans are allowed to kill?
The conversation,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 29, 2:05AM
2023
|
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White Vans
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 29, 1:05AM
2023
|
He thought he was safe.
But then he saw "Marston tonight king?" on his phone, and knew he was done f
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 29, 12:05AM
2023
|
A Sexually frustrated Gorilla see's a lion bent over a stream..
The gorilla runs up behind the lion,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 11:05PM
2023
|
I quit my job at the helium factory today.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 10:05PM
2023
|
I ate some rice
It was funny rice
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 9:05PM
2023
|
At the parole hearing, the officer asked "Tell me, why should you be released early?"
The inmate res
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 8:05PM
2023
|
My kid asked what that noise was
Kid (pointing in my general direction): It was over there, kind of
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 6:05AM
2023
|
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.
The officer wants to ask her a few ques
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 5:05AM
2023
|
What does a cow have on the dance floor?
Moooves
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 4:05AM
2023
|
I went to a seafood restaurant with my new girl friend
I’m not a big seafood guy so I asked if they
... |
2
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 28, 3:05AM
2023
|
You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons.
They just take your money and ru
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 2:05AM
2023
|
The Farmer and his Daughters
Now once there was a farmer, and daughters he had five,
And each of t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 1:05AM
2023
|
While in an elevator I asked my girlfriend to marry me.
We took our relationship to the next level.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 28, 12:05AM
2023
|
I was standing at an airport bar in International Departures when this small Chinese guy comes in, s
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 11:05PM
2023
|
I have asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for.
So far no one has given me a straight answer.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 10:05PM
2023
|
I yelled at my kids to "quit bugging me!"
I'm actually proud they both work for the CIA, but finding
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 9:05PM
2023
|
A sophisticated-looking lady was returning by plane from Switzerland
She talked to the Father sittin
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 8:05PM
2023
|
My niece told me this Halloween joke.
What's it called when you go number 1 in a haunted bathroom?
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 9:05AM
2023
|
Friendship between women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband sh
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 8:05AM
2023
|
I can tolerate algebra, and maybe even a little calculus.
But geometry is where I draw the line.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 7:05AM
2023
|
Wife: see that drunk guy over there?, Husband; yeah, Wife: I rejected his proposal of marriage to me
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 6:05AM
2023
|
A 70 year old man goes into a brothel. He picks out a young pretty woman, ....
... they go up to her
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 5:05AM
2023
|
I got myself a pet termite. Called him Clint.
Clint eats wood.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 27, 4:05AM
2023
|
I really should known better than to say "Hater, Hater, Alligator".
Now he's trying to eat my toes.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 3:05AM
2023
|
A charity worker goes to visit a very successful businessman in his town to find out why he has neve
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 2:05AM
2023
|
My wife told me that men wearing camouflage are sexy.
I just don't see it.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 1:05AM
2023
|
I yelled at my kids to "quit bugging me!"
I'm actually proud they both work for the CIA, but finding
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 27, 12:05AM
2023
|
A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is.
A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 26, 11:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a flock of sheep falling down a hill?
A lambslide
[visual representation of this j
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 10:05PM
2023
|
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose.
If you can't pick your friend's nose why did he a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 9:05PM
2023
|
The CEO of a company was in need of a secretary
He spread ads all over town. A few days later, there
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 8:05PM
2023
|
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.
I said, "I don't know. Must be my weekend immune
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 26, 6:05AM
2023
|
A young pastor is called into his superior.
"Some in the congregation have accused you of blasphemy
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 5:05AM
2023
|
How many of these do you remember?
This was our dinner talk with my kids.
Yellow Rivers by I.P. Fre
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 4:05AM
2023
|
Mushroom trip
A guy sits in his shared apartment when his drug enthusiast roommate walks in.
"Hey,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 3:05AM
2023
|
I spent my life savings on pasta…
It was worth every penne
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 2:05AM
2023
|
My wife told me that every time we have sex, we put five dollars in jar for a future vacation.
We’re
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 1:05AM
2023
|
why are iPhone chargers not called...
Apple Juice?
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 26, 12:05AM
2023
|
My wife is furious I bought a 12-year-old whiskey.
And the kid's mother tried to get me arrested.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 25, 11:05PM
2023
|
What do you call it when a zombie hands you a gift?
A dead give away!
🎃
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 25, 10:05PM
2023
|
The fortune teller said he would have a great fall.
And as Humpty walked to his favorite sitting wal
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 25, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man goes home after being at his mistress' house
However, he realized that he smelled like her per
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 25, 8:05PM
2023
|
“I had a Russian Uber driver the other day.” “Oh yeah? What was his name?”
“Pikup Andropov.”
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 25, 7:05AM
2023
|
My wife said the sex after my vasectomy changed dramatically...
She said she noticed "a vas deferens
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 25, 6:05AM
2023
|
My family just found out my grandfather has an addiction to Viagra
Nobody is taking it harder than g
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 25, 5:05AM
2023
|
The guys were on a bike tour. ...
No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 25, 4:05AM
2023
|
I lost my job as a masseuse.
I guess I rub people the wrong way.
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Oct 25, 3:05AM
2023
|
Horse and chicken are hanging in farmer Brown's yard.
Horse laid down in great big mud puddle to co
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 25, 2:05AM
2023
|
Someone has beaten cancer.
I congratulated them. Now they can move on to stage 2.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 25, 1:05AM
2023
|
I begged the man not to strike, begging that he would listen
My taunting worked, and i won the bowli
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 25, 12:05AM
2023
|
A shepherd is tending his flock in a remote pasture…
…when suddenly a shiny red BMW appears. The dri
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 11:05PM
2023
|
I still remember the last thing my dad said before kicking the bucket..
Hey son watch how far I can
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 10:05PM
2023
|
I was happily eating my baguette.
That's when i saw the man attached to it.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 9:05PM
2023
|
My pastor told this during a sermon once and it still kills me
Two fellas are walking in the woods o
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 8:05PM
2023
|
An elderly retired couple went to a doctor. The man said, "We want to know if we are making love pro
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Oct 24, 7:05AM
2023
|
What coding language do you think God uses?
Probably not Python right?
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant…
…and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. H
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 5:05AM
2023
|
I'm A Security Guard And My Boss Told Me It Was My Responsibility To Watch The Office Every Night
Al
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 4:05AM
2023
|
My family just learned that Grandpa has an addiction to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than Gran
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 3:05AM
2023
|
I told my wife about a company offering personalized concrete busts, and asked her if she wanted to
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a wreath made of $100 bills?
Aretha Franklins
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 1:05AM
2023
|
It was 2am and i ran out of water.
i look over to the pickle jar on my desk knowing what i have to d
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 24, 12:05AM
2023
|
The boss's wife is jealous of the young sexy secretary.
The boss's wife is jealous of the young sexy
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 23, 11:05PM
2023
|
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes.
Now I have Heinzsight.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 23, 10:05PM
2023
|
My neighbor posted his controversial, often offensive social media posts exclusively using MacBooks.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 23, 9:05PM
2023
|
A young punctuation couple, Mr. Apostrophe and Mrs. Comma…
A young punctuation couple, Mr. Apostroph
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 23, 8:05PM
2023
|
My wife is furious at our neighbor who sunbathes naked in her backyard.
Personally, I'm on the fence
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 23, 9:05AM
2023
|
A soldier and a nun
A soldier came running to a nun. Out of breath the soldier said, "Sister, can I
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 23, 8:05AM
2023
|
What super hero has the super power of bringing everybody down with his super morose attitude?
The I
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 23, 7:05AM
2023
|
I shat my pants.
And then I woke up in my classroom.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 23, 6:05AM
2023
|
The Mother Superior assembles all the nuns in the refectory
"Sisters," says the Mother Superior grim
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 23, 5:05AM
2023
|
Why are there only 239 beans in Irish bean soup?
Because 1 more would make it… too farty!
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 23, 4:05AM
2023
|
My Ex-Wife Kept going to Bangladesh
I should've known she was cheating; we live in the States
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 23, 3:05AM
2023
|
Better if told in person...
It was a cold winter day, when an old man walked out onto a frozen lake,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 23, 2:05AM
2023
|
I thought it was a real question when the teacher asked me if I knew any words that had all the vowe
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 23, 1:05AM
2023
|
My ex girlfriend loved Japanese food and cheated on me with four other guys
She is practically addic
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 23, 12:05AM
2023
|
Cybersecurity experts have found an easy way to spot North Korean hackers. They never use the shift
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 22, 11:05PM
2023
|
I recently paid $1 for a wig.
It was a small price toupee.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 22, 10:05PM
2023
|
I asked the cannibal if he was a picky eater and he replied with a shrug,
"Anything butt."
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 22, 9:05PM
2023
|
My new girlfriend has the same first name as my sister.
Which is quite odd, because now, when we hav
... |
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Oct 22, 8:05PM
2023
|
My wife and I had sex in Chernobyl
9 months later we became a nuclear family
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 22, 9:05AM
2023
|
The sleeper, the pastor and Adam's stick
Mr. Smith and the pastor discuss the problem that Mrs. Smit
... |
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Oct 22, 8:05AM
2023
|
I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas.
But they usually go over people’s heads.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 22, 7:05AM
2023
|
As I turned the corner, I saw the hideous thing ever..
It was your mother
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 22, 6:05AM
2023
|
A nail company wants to expand their business...
The firm, a long-established family company called
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 22, 5:05AM
2023
|
Someone told me the unit of power was Joules
I was like Watt?
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Oct 22, 4:05AM
2023
|
I once saw a picture of a diehard mlp fan.
It was jarring, to say the very least.
... |
0
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1
|
0
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0
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0
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3
|
Oct 22, 3:05AM
2023
|
Ordered Jack and Coke. Bartender asked if Pepsi was ok. I said sure
So he made me a Pepsi and Coke
... |
0
|
0
|
1
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0
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0
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2
|
Oct 22, 2:05AM
2023
|
I asked my dog "what's seven minus seven?"
He said nothing
... |
2
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
|
5
|
Oct 22, 1:05AM
2023
|
I once made a belt with only watches
It was a waste of time
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Oct 22, 12:05AM
2023
|
A Canadian man loses his wife.
He goes to the stonemason and asks for a tombstone that says "rest in
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Oct 21, 11:05PM
2023
|
I had a Russian Uber driver the other day.
His name was Pikup Andropov
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 21, 10:05PM
2023
|
I told the Karen at the illegal food market that, "You are what you eat."
She was furious at being c
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Oct 21, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man with a penis growing on his forehead visits the doctor, worried.
"Doctor, I have a penis growi
... |
0
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
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3
|
Oct 21, 8:05PM
2023
|
My friend quit his job at BMW.
He gave no indication he was leaving
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
Oct 21, 6:05AM
2023
|
A team of Swedes and a team of Norwegians are hired one day to put up telephone polls...
Their manag
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 21, 5:05AM
2023
|
In Hong Kong, there once lived a rich prestigious old man named Grandpa Li
Grandpa Li lived together
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 21, 4:05AM
2023
|
A joke for world war 2 enthusiasts
A British World War II pilot is reminiscing before school childre
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 21, 3:05AM
2023
|
Damn girl, was your daddy a gorilla?
Cause you look like a prime mate
... |
0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 21, 2:05AM
2023
|
How to approach an attractive woman in Ireland.
Here’s a guide for any Americans guys visiting Irela
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 21, 1:05AM
2023
|
Dad, can you explain what a solar eclipse is?
No sun
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
Oct 21, 12:05AM
2023
|
An inexperienced young dude hooks up with a rather experienced MILF on Tinder...
They make out, when
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 11:05PM
2023
|
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, “Hey, what’s with the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 9:05PM
2023
|
A 7 year old and a 4 year old are in their bedroom. "You know what, I think it's time we started swe
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 8:05PM
2023
|
A woman in a hot air baloon is lost
A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers he
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 7:05AM
2023
|
The other night I was invited for a night out with the boys, and I told my wife I would be home by m
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 6:05AM
2023
|
No one has to teach you how to masturbate.
It just cums naturally
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 5:05AM
2023
|
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
“Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 4:05AM
2023
|
What do you call an X-mas tree lying on the ground?
A Y-mas tree
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 3:05AM
2023
|
A doctor and his wife were playing golf at the local country club.
While on the 1st tee, his wife dr
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 20, 2:05AM
2023
|
My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell.
Well he actually said "less McDonald's", but I'm pretty su
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 20, 1:05AM
2023
|
As a boat mechanic, I’ve learned to develop a tough skin to life’s woes.
After all, I’ve endured man
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 20, 12:05AM
2023
|
The military is cutting staff and decide to get rid of three generals. One from the Army, the Airfor
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 19, 11:05PM
2023
|
So my wife saw a baby on the way to work today..
Me: How do you know?
Wife: How do I know I saw a b
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 19, 10:05PM
2023
|
Despite reassurances of more money forthcoming, I left my long-tenured job at the hazardous waste di
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Oct 19, 9:05PM
2023
|
A woman pregnant with triplets had a hunting accident with a pumpgun
She was rushed to surgery, but
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 19, 8:05PM
2023
|
An American family has grandparents who live in Russia. Every month, the grandparents send a package
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 19, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man who likes a drink...
A man who liked a drink was warned by his long-suffering wife that if he
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 19, 5:05AM
2023
|
What do you call boobs on a ghost?
Paranormal en-titties.
... |
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Oct 19, 4:05AM
2023
|
A policeman stops a car that is going very slowly on the I40 highway, and says to the driver "Why ar
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 19, 3:05AM
2023
|
Fired from my juice-canning job
>!Couldn't concentrate!<
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 19, 2:05AM
2023
|
A policeman goes home to his wife
A policeman goes home to his wife in the evening after work. Exhau
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 19, 1:05AM
2023
|
I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep biting him.
I shoud have know this would hap
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 19, 12:05AM
2023
|
As the man made his way to his seat at the World Cup Final, he couldn't help but feel excited.
But a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 11:05PM
2023
|
So I'm fifty-twelve years old and got hip replacement surgery a week ago...Wife today, "Damnit didn'
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 10:05PM
2023
|
“We’re breaking up.”
“Well get better phone signal, going outside usually helps, Hello?”
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 9:05PM
2023
|
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers.
He says, “I hear
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 8:05PM
2023
|
Got to use my ‘Dad’ voice today.
I was in a bad bicycle accident where a 300 lb friend ran into me a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 6:05AM
2023
|
The code-genie
A programmer finds a genie on the darkweb, and the genie messages him: "YOU GET THREE
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 5:05AM
2023
|
Communism jokes aren't funny!
Unless everyone gets them
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 4:05AM
2023
|
Keanu Reeves was offered the lead role in Wild Wild West, but turned it down to do The Matrix.
He re
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 18, 3:05AM
2023
|
Which superhero can’t you trust with your valuables?
The man of steal.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
I don’t know if anyone else has had
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife divorced me because I’m not american enough
Saw it coming from a kilometre away.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 18, 12:05AM
2023
|
a healthy diet
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or A
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 11:05PM
2023
|
I’m an electrician
Most people are really shocked when they learn I’m not that great at it
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 10:05PM
2023
|
"Are you sure you don't want to pay five dollars extra for the waterproof model?" The Salesman's wor
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 9:05PM
2023
|
A drug addict stumbles upon a magic lamp
A drug addict stumbles upon a shiny lamp. As soon as he pic
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 8:05PM
2023
|
Which superhero is not allowed near children?
The flash
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
7
|
Oct 17, 9:05AM
2023
|
Why do vampires hate running a big business?
Too many stakeholders.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 8:05AM
2023
|
Tripped over a bra in Victoria Secrets the other day
Didn't realize it was a booby trap
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Oct 17, 7:05AM
2023
|
there are two types of people in this world
1. those who need the context
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 6:05AM
2023
|
What's the hottest thing a teacher has ever said to you?
I remember the day vividly.
It was second
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 5:05AM
2023
|
what kind of key opens the door to a haunted house
a spoo-key
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 17, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man finds a magic lantern on the beach
A genie comes out and says "I will grand you three wishes,
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 17, 2:05AM
2023
|
I estimate that 95% of Reddit users pick their nose and eat it, 50% dont wash their hands after the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 1:05AM
2023
|
The twins kept clacking away on the their noisy keyboards in unison under the guise of doing their h
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 17, 12:05AM
2023
|
God Has a Sense of Humor
God told men they would find faithful and obedient wives in all the corners
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 16, 11:05PM
2023
|
Did you know before crowbars were invented
crows usually drank alone
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 10:05PM
2023
|
I was confused when the TSA agent said they need to do a cavity check.
I was even more confused when
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 9:05PM
2023
|
Is finding out that your spouse sucked hundreds of dicks before they were married a big deal?
Or is
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 8:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a restaurant that only sells beans?
A gas station.
- My son, Age 7
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
7
|
Oct 16, 10:05AM
2023
|
I went to a Japanese market and asked where the manga was
I don't think he knew what I was talking a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 9:05AM
2023
|
“I’m always exhausted,” Joe told his shrink. “Every night I dream I’m driving a truck from Houston t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 8:05AM
2023
|
I love my fingers
I could always count on them
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 7:05AM
2023
|
To cheer up my 4ft girlfriend I decided to sing her a little upbeat tune.
*"It's a small world after
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man enters a pet shop
He spots a parrot with a higher than normal price tag.
"Why is this b
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 5:05AM
2023
|
What kind of tea gets you into the Special Olympics?
Disability.
(My 11 year old son came up with t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 4:05AM
2023
|
before the surgery my body was ready
after the surgery now my body is lady
... |
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Oct 16, 3:05AM
2023
|
I was about to propose to my girlfriend.
I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Jo
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 16, 2:05AM
2023
|
So I just did possibly the dumbest thing I've probably ever done in my life...
I was having a smoke.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 1:05AM
2023
|
I have Welsh homework
It's dw i'n Monday
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 16, 12:05AM
2023
|
The naked runner
A couple of lovers were in the midst of action in bed when suddenly they heard a no
... |
1
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
9
|
Oct 15, 11:05PM
2023
|
What will they call 50 Cent when he dies?
Heaven Cent
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 15, 10:05PM
2023
|
I keep cutting myself on the knives.
And yet, people wonder why I hate doing the dishes.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 15, 9:05PM
2023
|
This is an old Finnish story
A few young guys were bored on a Saturday night and decided to go dri
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 15, 8:05PM
2023
|
I used to believe in not paying the electric bill….
Those were dark times for me.
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 15, 9:05AM
2023
|
So, if Ani is short for Anikan, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan, and Fives is short for CT-27-5555, and
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 15, 8:05AM
2023
|
My son asked me where poo comes from..
Well, that was embarrassing, but I went through the whole exp
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 15, 7:05AM
2023
|
the clown who moved in across the street from me said that i couldnt park my wife anywhere i wanted
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 15, 6:05AM
2023
|
Top O' The Mornin'
Father Flanahan is having a rough morning in the confessional booth. During a bri
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 15, 5:05AM
2023
|
My son asked me if we were pyromaniacs.
I replied "yes we arson"
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 15, 4:05AM
2023
|
im a lipstick model and i think this color is to die for well not to die for but ya get the picture
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 15, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man is shocked to find his buddy wears a bra. He asks “How long have you been wearing that?”
The f
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 15, 2:05AM
2023
|
From my 7-year old daughter: What's another word for rabbit's fur?
Hare.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 15, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife was mad at me for visiting a massage parlor.
In my defense I didn't know she worked there.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 15, 12:05AM
2023
|
a man buys a parrot
A man buys a parrot. The bird is beautiful, but swears in the most foul manner a
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 11:05PM
2023
|
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And mos
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 10:05PM
2023
|
Due to inflation, $20 really isn't what it used to be
It now take $26 to have a good time
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 9:05PM
2023
|
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 8:05PM
2023
|
Why do nuns get naked when they wash their clothes??
Just out of habit.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 8:05AM
2023
|
Mr. X checked into a hotel along with his wife
At 11:30 in the night, he called the reception.
He s
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 7:05AM
2023
|
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a clinic. The technician asks the rabbit if he knows his
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 6:05AM
2023
|
A 95 year old man and his 94 year old wife see a lawyer about a divorce.
The lawyer asks them when t
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 5:05AM
2023
|
It’s a shame that the Beatles didn’t make the submarine in their song green.
That would’ve been subl
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 4:05AM
2023
|
My friend who loves cheap beer got a skylight in his kitchen.
I don't think he knows what the phrase
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 3:05AM
2023
|
A recently married man says to his friend: "My wife and I are thinking of going on our honeymoon to
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 2:05AM
2023
|
My gf begged me to stop telling Scandinavian puns.
I told her, "Fine, I'm Finnished."
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 1:05AM
2023
|
My friend told me he enjoyed eating ass.
He was disgusted when I offered him a donkey burger.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 14, 12:05AM
2023
|
A boy asked his father “Dad, what are politics?”
The boy’s father thinks for a minute, then says to
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 13, 11:05PM
2023
|
What's the most disgusting number?
144
... |
0
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1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Oct 13, 10:05PM
2023
|
The solution to the slow process of hunting an animal, butchering it, and cooking it?
Use an incendi
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 13, 9:05PM
2023
|
Three women died and found themselves standing at the Pearly Gates.
Saint Peter said to the first wo
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Oct 13, 8:05PM
2023
|
My wife caught me playing with my son’s train set. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 13, 9:05AM
2023
|
I was in the queue buying dog food when this woman asks me if I have a dog
I thought "well isn't it
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 13, 8:05AM
2023
|
What did the one vowel say to the other?
We're not so different, "u" and "i."
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 13, 7:05AM
2023
|
Growing up I wanted to be a pilot who did stand up.
To everyone's relief that career was left on the
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 13, 6:05AM
2023
|
Worried boy goes to doctor
A teenager worried about having three testicles goes to a urologist. The
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 13, 5:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a cow that eats your grass ?
A lawn moo-er.
... |
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Oct 13, 4:05AM
2023
|
I once got in trouble as a kid for licking a Pole
Jacek never forgave me for it.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 13, 3:05AM
2023
|
The Wife, the Husband and the Genie
A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 13, 2:05AM
2023
|
Do you know anyone who can drink 5 litres of petrol?
Jerry can.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 13, 1:05AM
2023
|
“These are my last words!”
He said, before going unconscious.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 13, 12:05AM
2023
|
The Doctor and the Rich Man
An immigrant doctor decided to start his own clinic one day.
He put a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 11:05PM
2023
|
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasabi.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 10:05PM
2023
|
"I'm going to ride you hard and make you sore in places you never thought possible," declared the ma
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man goes to see the doctor about a serious cough…
The doctor examines him, runs some tests, and le
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 8:05PM
2023
|
What do Israel and Palestine have in common?
Both are pro hummus
Apologies if I offend anyone, beca
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 7:05AM
2023
|
I met a girl who was a solid 10 but she hated Harry Potter
Now she is a 9¾
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 12, 6:05AM
2023
|
Ive been looking all day for a good carpentry pun.
Unfortunately, nothing I saw wood work.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 12, 5:05AM
2023
|
An Army officer was arrested completely nude, chasing a woman through a hotel lobby.
His lawyer was
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 4:05AM
2023
|
My friend's wife broke him out of prison. I guess he was right...
she literally cannot let him finis
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 3:05AM
2023
|
You hear what happened when the triangle tried to make all its angles 90 degree?
Didn't end well, I
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 2:05AM
2023
|
Did you know that Darth Vader has a daughter named Ella?
Ella Vader
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 1:05AM
2023
|
Even water tastes sour without her.
I wish I’d realised sooner that that was a brain tumour.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 12, 12:05AM
2023
|
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 11:05PM
2023
|
Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippy?
He was too far out man.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 10:05PM
2023
|
My wife is a hairy woman
I had to correct my friend, telling him “that’s not my wife, that’s my dog!
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 9:05PM
2023
|
pope francis
One day pope Francis dies and comes to the Pearly Gates. God himself is picking him up
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 8:05PM
2023
|
My friend decided to get a face tattoo of his favourite Star Wars character
You should've seen the L
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 6:05AM
2023
|
A Joke for Indigenous Peoples' Day
Once there was a native american named Lakota. All his tribe had
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 5:05AM
2023
|
What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 4:05AM
2023
|
It is really unfortunate that Islam, Judaism and Christianity have been fighting each other for cent
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 3:05AM
2023
|
My doctor says I'm going deaf.
That news was hard to hear
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 11, 2:05AM
2023
|
Microbiology joke
Two bacteria walk into a bar and start pouring themselves pints.
The bartender te
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 1:05AM
2023
|
My obese pet parrot died over the weekend.
I'm not too upset though - it's actually a huge weight of
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 11, 12:05AM
2023
|
On the way to a conference, a revered scientist is talking to his chauffeur
The driver asks him:
"–
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 11:05PM
2023
|
My wife asked why there was a blanket on top of me and my laptop
I told her I work undercover
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 10:05PM
2023
|
Finally, the ring I accidentally ate after my fiancee hid it in a cake was coming out the other side
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man enters a pharmacy and orders a box of Viagra
The pharmacist asks for about 10€ and gives him t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 8:05PM
2023
|
Are you todays date?
Because you’re a 10/10
... |
2
|
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
9
|
Oct 10, 8:05AM
2023
|
A little joke from my family's dinner table.
My family was talking a few weeks ago, and somehow I br
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 7:05AM
2023
|
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 6:05AM
2023
|
There's a depressed king back in the 14th century
And nothing could cheer him up. Eventually the roy
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 5:05AM
2023
|
Most people don't know the Master Yoda has a last name
It's Layheehoo (I'll see myself out)
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 4:05AM
2023
|
"I'm sorry John," I say softly to my brother as I reach over to unplug the wire near the bed...
"But
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 3:05AM
2023
|
A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in.
“So wh
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 2:05AM
2023
|
If you ask me to recite the alphabet, I'll only recite 25 letters.
I don't give a F
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 1:05AM
2023
|
I was worried about my grandmother because she was just sitting in her favorite rocker constantly pr
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 10, 12:05AM
2023
|
A single Karen is called a Karen. A group of Karens is called ...
a homeowners association.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 11:05PM
2023
|
I've combined a laxative with alphabet soup.
I call it 'letter rip.'
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 10:05PM
2023
|
"We're breaking up," I could just about hear my girlfriend say.
"Curse this damn phone signal," I mu
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 9:05PM
2023
|
Classic Winston Churchill wit....
These are old and possibly apocryphal, but just in case of the you
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 8:05PM
2023
|
My girlfriend changed after she became a vegetarian.
It's like I've never seen herbivore.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 8:05AM
2023
|
Three weddings were occurring the same hotel one weekend.
After the ceremonies and wedding meals, al
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 09, 7:05AM
2023
|
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
There would be mass confusion.
... |
1
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
9
|
Oct 09, 6:05AM
2023
|
Old joke, modern twist: a man is out of town when his wife goes into labor...
The man calls up his b
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 5:05AM
2023
|
I asked my Chiropractor what kind of music he listens to.
He said mostly hip pop
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 4:05AM
2023
|
I went to the doctor because I wasn’t feeling too well, and when asked about my diet, I said I ate r
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 3:05AM
2023
|
In your 20s, a woman looks at you because of your youth and vitality.
In your 30s, a woman looks at
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do you get when you fart on your wallet?
Gas money
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 1:05AM
2023
|
Apparently, scientists are now genetically modifying shrivelled-up grapes to help in everyday tasks.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 09, 12:05AM
2023
|
A girl is waiting for a letter from her soldier boyfriend.
Finally, she gets it. Excited, the girl o
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 11:05PM
2023
|
What type of magazine do cows read ?
Cattlelogs.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 10:05PM
2023
|
My friend says onions are the only food that can make him cry.
So I hit him in the face with a cocon
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 9:05PM
2023
|
The Jewelry Store
An older man walked into a jewelry store with a young woman. He told the jeweler
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Oct 08, 8:05PM
2023
|
What happens when you touch Dwayne Johnson’s butt.
You hit rock rock bottom
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 9:05AM
2023
|
Three engineers are arguing what type of engineer God is
The first says, "God is a mechanical engine
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 8:05AM
2023
|
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 7:05AM
2023
|
i have a fight with an evolution denier last night.
after checking his youtube channel i realized th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 6:05AM
2023
|
Three engineers were riding in a car, went down a hill, and crashed.
The mechanical engineer said, "
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 5:05AM
2023
|
Why is Adam considered the fastest person in the Bible?
He came first in the human race.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 4:05AM
2023
|
I ate horse, fish, elephant and hog meat on the ship for breakfast that day.
Oh, and the red-shirted
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 3:05AM
2023
|
If you wanted to buy a car in Russia, you needed to order it 10 years in advance and pay for it.
In
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why don’t Jehovas Witnesses celebrate Halloween?
They don’t like random strangers knocking on their
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 08, 1:05AM
2023
|
My father was not well educated.
Little did he know...
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 08, 12:05AM
2023
|
A woman buys a wardrobe for her bedroom
After it is installed all is well until the train passes on
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 07, 11:05PM
2023
|
I told my wife, “Did you know Old MacDonald’s farm has been taken over by ChatGPT?”
Her: AI?
Me: A
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 07, 10:05PM
2023
|
We thought that our son ain’t right, so we sent him to conversion therapy.
Now he weighs himself in
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 07, 9:05PM
2023
|
Husband and wife
Her: Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?
Him: "No" said her husband
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 8:05PM
2023
|
I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They said I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 8:05AM
2023
|
My sewing instructor thinks I’m the worst student she has ever seen.
Sorry. Wrong thread.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 07, 7:05AM
2023
|
“What are these pennies doing in my soup?” a restaurant patron demanded, motioning for the waiter to
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 6:05AM
2023
|
Ollie saw his mother naked one day
Ollie saw his mother naked one day and discovered that she didn’t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 5:05AM
2023
|
Teacher: What starts with a K and ends with an E?
Student: No it doesn't.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 4:05AM
2023
|
Whenever someone flashes their high-beams at me, I flash them to let them know what they did.
And th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 3:05AM
2023
|
A doctor gets called to the hospital in the middle of the night
As it's an emergency, and the highwa
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 2:05AM
2023
|
How many true crime podcasters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but to understand why,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 1:05AM
2023
|
I have always wanted to see a comedy show
Its only been 2 sentences, why is it already over????????
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 07, 12:05AM
2023
|
An engineer, a mathematician and an economist go on a work interview
First up is the engineer. The e
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 06, 11:05PM
2023
|
What was Michael Jacksons favourite pasta?
Spagetthehe
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 06, 10:05PM
2023
|
My Reddit doom scrolling went deep into the night.
I knew I was in hell when every post was an ad fo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 06, 9:05PM
2023
|
A Gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and paperwork and was burned out.
Hopin
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 06, 8:05PM
2023
|
What starts with N and ends with G ?
Nothing starts with N and ends with G.
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Oct 06, 6:05AM
2023
|
Cruise ship drive by
I was on a cruise recently.
One morning, the ship was passing very close to a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 06, 5:05AM
2023
|
I'm reading a horror book in Braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it.
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Oct 06, 4:05AM
2023
|
A business man sees a fisherman laying down on the shore, looking at the sky
- Hi, why aren't you fi
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Oct 06, 3:05AM
2023
|
My wife asked me if I could turn the ceiling fan on before bed
I told it that it looked sexy, then t
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 06, 2:05AM
2023
|
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the wo
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 06, 1:05AM
2023
|
I like my women how I like my coffee.
Bitter and cold.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 06, 12:05AM
2023
|
A man was playing golf,
and forgot which hole he was at. He saw a woman ahead of him and asked "Excu
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 05, 11:05PM
2023
|
Why do archaeologists get the most girls?
Because they have the best dating techniques
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
|
3
|
Oct 05, 10:05PM
2023
|
I've often been told I was the spitting image of my great-grandfather.
He, too, was a two-time expec
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Oct 05, 9:05PM
2023
|
During the USSR regime a communist governor is visiting one of the small towns in his district
The m
... |
1
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
1
|
Oct 05, 8:05PM
2023
|
I surprised my mailman by opening the door completely naked
I don't know what part shocked him the m
... |
0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 05, 8:05AM
2023
|
A horse walks into a bar..
The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse says, "My boss just f
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 05, 7:05AM
2023
|
I was jumped by three huge guys in the street
I was so relieved. My car started immediately. They we
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 05, 6:05AM
2023
|
Actually happened: I saw a girl at a party who was distraught and crying because she had accidentall
... |
0
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1
|
0
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0
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0
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3
|
Oct 05, 5:05AM
2023
|
A friend had a new baby girl. Her coworker asked: “What’s her name?”
My friend replied: "Mela
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Oct 05, 4:05AM
2023
|
Its always miss independent till I break her neck than she needs police officers
... |
0
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0
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1
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0
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0
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2
|
Oct 05, 3:05AM
2023
|
Five Jewish Women Go Out for Dinner
After their meals arrive, the waiter comes over and asks, "Ladie
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 05, 2:05AM
2023
|
My wife asked me if I wanted to go fishing with her. She hates fishing!
I got really suspicious and
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 05, 1:05AM
2023
|
I was explaining to my friends that my girl never graduated. Probably should have mentioned she is i
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 05, 12:05AM
2023
|
There’s these three guys, and they’re sitting around a table.
The first guy says “You know what, I’m
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 04, 11:05PM
2023
|
“So, how’s the airline food?” My wife asked.
I told her, “Well, it’s plane.”
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 04, 10:05PM
2023
|
In 10 years half the population will identify as something unique. Ur mom wil identify as a missile
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 04, 9:05PM
2023
|
Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 04, 8:05PM
2023
|
A young camel curiously questions his father, "Dad, why do we have a hump on our back?"
The wise fat
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 04, 10:05AM
2023
|
I was explaining to my friends that my girl never graduated. Probably should have mentioned she is i
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
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0
|
3
|
Oct 04, 9:05AM
2023
|
A farmer sold an old horse, but warned the buyer she didn't look too good.
The buyer insisted she lo
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 04, 8:05AM
2023
|
Why is it so funny when someone speaks Persian in California?
It's Farsi Cal.
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Oct 04, 7:05AM
2023
|
I'm a pirate with a steering wheel for a belt buckle.
It's driving me nuts.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 04, 6:05AM
2023
|
The animals in the zoo were talking amongst themselves about the recent drought...
The cows said the
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 04, 5:05AM
2023
|
She: "I'm leaving. I'm sick of you wearing a different shirt every half an hour!"
He: "Wait! I can c
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 04, 4:05AM
2023
|
In 10 years half the population will identify as something unique. Ur mom wil identify as a missile
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 04, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man is in a pub, talking enthusiastically and at length about his hobby, skydiving.
He turns to a
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 04, 2:05AM
2023
|
What's worse than two girls running with scissors?
Two girls scissoring with the runs.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 04, 1:05AM
2023
|
A woman goes to the doctor, and says "everyone looks like Tom Jones."
The doctor goes "Deliah, It's
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
Oct 04, 12:05AM
2023
|
Divorce Judgement
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What a
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 11:05PM
2023
|
I said to my son, “What do you call a bunch of indifferent pumpkins grown on a hill in Finland?”
“A
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 10:05PM
2023
|
Why did people board the Titanic? Haven't they seen the movie?
... |
0
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0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Oct 03, 9:05PM
2023
|
A woman comes home early, and finds her husband in bed with a girl.
She is furious, threatens to kil
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 8:05PM
2023
|
I told her my name is Heath. She said her name is Heather.
I said, "This isn't a competition."
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
|
4
|
Oct 03, 9:05AM
2023
|
Three logicians walk into a bar
The waiter comes and asks if they all want a drink. First logician s
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 8:05AM
2023
|
A friend of mine was concerned that I hadn’t pooped in three days.
An hour later, I did. I guess you
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 7:05AM
2023
|
I went to a corn labyrinth but got lost.
Took me an hour to get out of that maize.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man goes to the doctor with terrible hemorrhoids
A man goes to the doctor with terrible hemorrhoid
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 5:05AM
2023
|
What do a gynaecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it but know i
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 4:05AM
2023
|
I was looking for my glasses when I fell into a well.
I couldn't see that well.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 3:05AM
2023
|
Homeless woman
I found a homeless woman behind a dumpster today. I took her home and got her cleaned
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
Oct 03, 2:05AM
2023
|
I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail
But apparently you can't end a sentenc
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 1:05AM
2023
|
I went for a vaccination when the power went out.
It was a shot in the dark, but the doctor managed
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 03, 12:05AM
2023
|
A billionaire hires a painter of murals to come to his mansion…
…when he gets there, he calls the pa
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 02, 11:05PM
2023
|
To start a zoo you need at least 2 pandas, a grizzly, and a polar.
It's the bear minimum.
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Oct 02, 10:05PM
2023
|
I was surprised when I overheard my mother describe me as a prolific writer to her friends.
It sound
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 02, 9:05PM
2023
|
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 02, 8:05PM
2023
|
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through the Welsh town
A truck loaded with Worce
... |
2
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
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5
|
Oct 02, 6:05AM
2023
|
An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar
"An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 02, 5:05AM
2023
|
Which is the sickest name of all?
Paulie.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
Oct 02, 4:05AM
2023
|
The animal brothel
A little mouse, after a tiring week of work, decides to visit an animal brothel f
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Oct 02, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but plastic wrap. Psychiatrist looks at him
... |
0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Oct 02, 2:05AM
2023
|
Choking Lady
Two hillbillies walked into a local restaurant as they had decided to stop by for a bit
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 02, 1:05AM
2023
|
I quit my job at the erectile dysfunction clinic
I haven't gotten a raise in years
... |
1
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
|
1
|
Oct 02, 12:05AM
2023
|
A father and his ten year old son were in the grocery store…
…and the son was throwing a penny up an
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 11:05PM
2023
|
Some people call the toilet “The John”. I call mine “The Jim”
That way, I can proudly boast about sp
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 10:05PM
2023
|
My brother told me to drink his special "homemade" milk yesterday.
**It wasn't milk.**
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 9:05PM
2023
|
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and wh
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 8:05PM
2023
|
I showed my son a photo of me and said, "This was taken seven years ago."
He said, "Wow, you haven't
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Oct 01, 7:05AM
2023
|
Did you hear about the farm hand that got fired for having sex in the herbs?
He was fucking on compa
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 6:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a one legged virgin cowgirl?
Hop-A-Long Chastity.
... |
0
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1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 5:05AM
2023
|
A woman goes to her doctor
A woman goes to her doctor and says " I have psittacosis of the pussy ".
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 4:05AM
2023
|
I remember how embarrassed I was when I couldn’t pay my electricity bill.
It was the darkest day of
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 3:05AM
2023
|
Fishing……
Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip.
Unfortuna
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a frenchman who has been attacked by a cat?
Claude
... |
0
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1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Oct 01, 1:05AM
2023
|
A man in a green hoodie appeared in front of me. He grounded grounded grounded me for 3934034 years.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Oct 01, 12:05AM
2023
|
A knight rides on a road. Suddenly, a frog comes to him.
\- I am under a spell, - the frog says. - K
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 30, 11:05PM
2023
|
Son, "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl"
Dad, "That's great, son! Who is she?
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 10:05PM
2023
|
Why did Harry take the dog's advice?
Because the dog was Sirius.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 9:05PM
2023
|
Jesus and Moses in Heaven
One beautiful day in Heaven, Jesus and Moses were fishing in a lake. After
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 8:05PM
2023
|
A farmer goes to the market intending to sell his horse for $2000, and a man purchases it from him.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 6:05AM
2023
|
There's this guy who could sing through his butt...
He goes to audition with this producer who has a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 5:05AM
2023
|
We just got home from karaoke. My wife tried to sing with a mouth full of chick peas
I told her to h
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 4:05AM
2023
|
When I was in college, my girlfriend and I tried a long distance relationship...
I had to stay 300 f
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 3:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a woman with only 1 leg?
Ilene!
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why is Santa always smiling?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls are.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 30, 1:05AM
2023
|
I helped my Community Theater put on a play about a Bakery. I wouldn't say I was the star...
But I d
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 30, 12:05AM
2023
|
Xi and Biden have a bet
Xi wagers that in 100 years time China would be the dominant superpower, whi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 11:05PM
2023
|
I was in an unfortunate accident with an electrical wire and my semen became electrified
Came as a s
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 29, 10:05PM
2023
|
If peaches grow in Georgia, what grows in Detroit?
Crime.
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
5
|
Sep 29, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 8:05PM
2023
|
My best organic dad joke moment just happened
A buddy of mine recently invested in a friend's dental
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 7:05AM
2023
|
A priest takes the bus
After a while, a drunkard sits next to him. The drunkard pulls out a newspape
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Sep 29, 6:05AM
2023
|
Why do Indian Restaurants cut bread in half before serving it?
Because they are firm believers of na
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 5:05AM
2023
|
Brakes
A Boy was having sex with a girl on a Railway track.
The train driver spots them and starts
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 4:05AM
2023
|
When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit covered in bee stings and smelling like honey......
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 3:05AM
2023
|
Man takes his wife golfing
An old man goes golfing every weekend. His wife always complains about hi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 2:05AM
2023
|
What 10-letter word starts with gas?
Poooooooop
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 1:05AM
2023
|
I adopted 4 kittens, after an eye exam
I realized my neighbour is Guido Mista
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 29, 12:05AM
2023
|
Teacher gave her class this assignment: ask your parents to tell you a story with a moral at the end
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 28, 11:05PM
2023
|
People always ask where is Bigfoot? But never ask How is Bigfoot?
Yeti never complains
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 28, 10:05PM
2023
|
My doc told me it was normal to cum during a prostate exam.
I would have preferred if he hadn’t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 28, 9:05PM
2023
|
A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said "I want to be a movie star."
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 28, 8:05PM
2023
|
My son asked if I was named after my dad.
I said, “of course I was, he was born many years before me
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 28, 8:05AM
2023
|
My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me
My girlfriend borrowed $100 from me. After 3years, when we separ
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 28, 7:05AM
2023
|
What do you call it when I eat a hamburger in the shower?
A meatier shower ☄️
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 28, 6:05AM
2023
|
Guy walks into a hotel
A few years back, a feeder tournament for the World Series of Poker has attra
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 28, 5:05AM
2023
|
How do you milk sheep?
With iPhone accessories.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 28, 4:05AM
2023
|
One thing about me I’m the baddest alive..
He know the prettiest bitch didn’t come until I arrive..
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 28, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man was walking along a street, and happened to notice a sex shop.
'We have something for everyone
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 28, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why did the queen lock out the other bees?
They mis-bee-hived.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 28, 1:05AM
2023
|
I adopted 4 kittens, after an eye exam
I realized my neighbour is Guido Mista
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 28, 12:05AM
2023
|
A man gets pulled over by a police car....
"Excuse me sir, we've been searching for a sheep molester
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 27, 11:05PM
2023
|
I'm obsessed with songs from Metallica.
Nothing else matters!
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 27, 10:05PM
2023
|
My doc told me it was normal to cum during a prostate exam.
I would have preferred if he hadn’t
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 27, 9:05PM
2023
|
Bloke goes into a pub on a hot summer’s day and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my f
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 27, 8:05PM
2023
|
What is 6.9?
A good thing ruined by a period.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 27, 6:05AM
2023
|
My wife said to me, "What starts with 'F' and ends in 'K'"?
I said, "No, it does'nt"
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 27, 5:05AM
2023
|
My wife was annoyed with me for singing Wonderwall all day. She asked me if I could stop,
I said May
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 27, 4:05AM
2023
|
I asked the gym trainer which machine to use to get the most beautiful women
He said the ATM outside
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 27, 3:05AM
2023
|
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...
.you need to let that mango."
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 27, 2:05AM
2023
|
My 12-year-old son asked his grandfather what the worst thing about old age was...
Grandpa answered
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Sep 27, 1:05AM
2023
|
My daughter is officially getting into jokes and understanding them and we are working on what punch
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Sep 27, 12:05AM
2023
|
One night….
One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex.
The mother is going up and
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 11:05PM
2023
|
My girlfriend asked me to do her hair like a Rastafarian.
I'm dreading it.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 10:05PM
2023
|
I heard Japan's buildings sway like trees during Earthquakes.
Despite this, some of the locals infor
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 9:05PM
2023
|
A dad told his 15 year old son that he would buy him a car…
…in 6 months on his 16th birthday if he
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 8:05PM
2023
|
On the way to school, my kid asked “if really bad dreams are called nightmares, what are really good
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 9:05AM
2023
|
A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink. [NSFW]
A horny gorilla sees a
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 8:05AM
2023
|
"Who's in for bringing back roman numerals?"
"I for one!"
my fathers tells it nonstop
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 7:05AM
2023
|
And the war was over. The screaming, the dying, the gunshots, all over, so suddenly and with no expl
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 6:05AM
2023
|
My friend asked me if I had ever tried blindfolded archery, I replied I hadn’t
He said it’s great !
... |
0
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0
|
1
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0
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0
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2
|
Sep 26, 5:05AM
2023
|
I bought a 12 year old Whisky
His mum was pissed
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 4:05AM
2023
|
"Mom, I'm telling the truth", I said
At least I deleted the virus I downloaded into my computer
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 3:05AM
2023
|
I tried dipping my balls in holy water and a nun caught me.
I told her I wanted my nuts to feel the
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 2:05AM
2023
|
A man enters a store and says to the cashier, "I'd like some Polish sausage." The cashier gazes at h
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 1:05AM
2023
|
I went on a hike in a very popular camping site...
...people there are in-tents
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 26, 12:05AM
2023
|
Two Brothers Move to the City
There were two brothers who lived in the country.
One day they decide
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 25, 11:05PM
2023
|
My friend asked me if I had ever tried blindfolded archery, I replied that I hadn’t
He said it’s gre
... |
1
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
|
4
|
Sep 25, 10:05PM
2023
|
If only I'd looked before I jumped
God doorframes hurt
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 25, 9:05PM
2023
|
A stunning young lady is at a bar when...
A stunning young lady is at a bar when she is approached b
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 25, 8:05PM
2023
|
My Eskimo uncle and his wife just bought a new igloo.
They don't want a housewarming party.
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
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0
|
5
|
Sep 25, 7:05AM
2023
|
A husband and wife were trying to think of ways to spice up their sex life...
So one day the man cam
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 25, 6:05AM
2023
|
My friend asked me to name two things that hold water.
“Well, Dam.”
... |
0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 25, 5:05AM
2023
|
Broke in a brothel
A young man turns 18 and decides to go to the local brothel for his first adult e
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 25, 4:05AM
2023
|
I got arrested because I didn't want to sleep
Cops say I was resisting a rest
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Sep 25, 3:05AM
2023
|
Joe……….
Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman.
He receives many thank-you cards and monetary
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 25, 2:05AM
2023
|
My wife told me to stop counting.
But I didn't one two.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 25, 1:05AM
2023
|
I wish more people would say "Go fuck yourself!"
...so I can see the looks on their faces once I ste
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 25, 12:05AM
2023
|
A man and his wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem...
The m
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 24, 11:05PM
2023
|
So this kid comes home from school in panic and says Dad, they are all picking on me…are we pyromani
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 24, 10:05PM
2023
|
“I Sense a disturbance in the Force… as off millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 24, 9:05PM
2023
|
A bakery owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.
One
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 24, 8:05PM
2023
|
If you're American before you go to the bathroom and American when you come out what are you while y
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 24, 6:05AM
2023
|
Man says to his new bride....
After the honeymoon, the new wife told her husband, “I think it’s time
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 24, 5:05AM
2023
|
What was the most revolutionary technology ever invented?
The Wheel.
... |
1
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1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 24, 4:05AM
2023
|
NSFW My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star Wars role play in the bedroom
My wife FINALLY agreed to a Star
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 24, 3:05AM
2023
|
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
He just needed space.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 24, 2:05AM
2023
|
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They c
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 24, 1:05AM
2023
|
I really hate One Direction fans
Oscilating fans cool the room way better
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 24, 12:05AM
2023
|
A man walks into a bar and notices a jar filled with $10 bills. He asks the bartender what it's for,
... |
0
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
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3
|
Sep 23, 11:05PM
2023
|
What do you call an Islamic Cow?
A MOOslim
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 23, 10:05PM
2023
|
"Unhand me!!", I yelled to the cops.
Great, now I have a life sentence AND no hands.
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 23, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 23, 8:05PM
2023
|
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 23, 7:05AM
2023
|
An infinite number of mathematicians enter an infinite bar
In this bar, a pint of beer costs one dol
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 23, 6:05AM
2023
|
Putin dies and arrives in hell.
After some time, he's granted a day off for good behavior.
So he vi
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 23, 5:05AM
2023
|
A married couple were sitting at their dinner table when the wife says, "I cannot believe it!"
The h
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 23, 4:05AM
2023
|
A 60-year-old millionaire is getting married.
His friends, feeling envious, inquire about how he ma
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 23, 3:05AM
2023
|
Psychiatrist…..
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and t
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 23, 2:05AM
2023
|
I didn’t realize Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother…
Brocco.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 23, 1:05AM
2023
|
She asked me if I wanted to dive in her ocean
I was about to then I saw a megalodon.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 23, 12:05AM
2023
|
A guy goes to confession and tells the priest that he committed all 7 deadly sins in one day.
He say
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 22, 11:05PM
2023
|
What's a lawyer's favorite food?
Sue-shi
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 22, 10:05PM
2023
|
I confused self depricating humor with self defficating humor.
I inadvertently turned what should ha
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 9:05PM
2023
|
A teacher tells her students to write a sentence defining power.
Once everyone has finished, she rea
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 22, 8:05PM
2023
|
I hired a lawyer to sue the airlines for mishandling my luggage.
They lost the case.
​
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 8:05AM
2023
|
Two men, both new to the town, was discussing their new home.
"What a strange place," said one of th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 7:05AM
2023
|
What did one DNA say to the other DNA?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 6:05AM
2023
|
The farmer and the police
A farmer was on his way to bed when his wife said he had forgotten to turn
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 5:05AM
2023
|
Guys, I'm worried. My HR rep at work wants me to sign up for the company's 401k.
There's no way I ca
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 4:05AM
2023
|
I never thought I would be something in life.
But as I pulled the trash out to the curb without bein
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 3:05AM
2023
|
A woman goes to the doctor and says...
"Doctor I want to have a baby but my husband is adamant that
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 22, 2:05AM
2023
|
Vegetarians think eating animals is immoral
But eating mushrooms is morel
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 1:05AM
2023
|
The Pee Pee Poo Poo man won’t get you in trouble for pornography.
I reassured this to my friends bef
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 22, 12:05AM
2023
|
I went to a fancy dress party naked with my wife on my back
The guy at the door laughed and asked wh
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 11:05PM
2023
|
I tried squeezing ketchup on my hot dog and I got the nasty water.
In Heinz-sight, I should've shake
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 21, 10:05PM
2023
|
I like to keep my jokes printed on perforated paper.
You never know when you might need a tearable p
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 9:05PM
2023
|
Daughter: "Mom, I'm dating the neighbor"
Mother: "But he could be your father..."
Daughter: "Age do
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 8:05PM
2023
|
When I came home from work, my wife said "Ugh, the baby has been crying for hours. Can you take over
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 6:05AM
2023
|
I haven't said a word to my wife in 3 weeks...
... I didn't want to interrupt her!
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 5:05AM
2023
|
A man enters a bar... The bartender inquires, "Why do you look so down?"
The man responds, "I just d
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 4:05AM
2023
|
A woman is at her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family a
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 21, 3:05AM
2023
|
A frustrated woman, upset because her husband was once again late coming home, decided to leave a no
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 2:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 75?
Your Honor!
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 1:05AM
2023
|
My 7-year-old son came home from school today and asked me:
"Dad, which type of mouse can stroll on
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 21, 12:05AM
2023
|
At a girls' boarding school, a WW2 flying ace has been invited to give the Prize Day address
"I was
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 20, 11:05PM
2023
|
"How was the surgery? It must have been hilarious" I told my friend in the hospital. He asked, "Why"
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 20, 10:05PM
2023
|
DJ Khalid once said Something
Then God Did.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 20, 9:05PM
2023
|
A 17-year-old boy who works part-time at Pizza Hut drives up to park in front of the house in a beau
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 20, 8:05PM
2023
|
My son told me he just watched a guy do 100 straight push-ups, and asked me if I could do that…
“Sur
... |
3
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Sep 20, 9:05AM
2023
|
I used to steal comedians' jokes and not credit them.
I still do, but I used to, too.
... |
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Sep 20, 8:05AM
2023
|
Do you know what is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 20, 7:05AM
2023
|
I get pretty good looks from people
Except the ones who only want my ass
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 20, 6:05AM
2023
|
Ma & Pa and the outhouse
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out...
"Pa you
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 20, 5:05AM
2023
|
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
A tractor.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 20, 4:05AM
2023
|
Teachers are funny, right guys?
No they are just reused.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 20, 3:05AM
2023
|
I just got wrongfully fired from my job for "being in a state of constant sexual arousal"
Which is a
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 20, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why is giving birth called delivery
…instead of take-out?
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 20, 1:05AM
2023
|
The creature in my basement was the strongest thing alive.
Until he met Chuck Norris.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 20, 12:05AM
2023
|
A backpacker walks into a pub in Ireland
It's a small pub, clearly quite old. There's only two peopl
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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Sep 19, 11:05PM
2023
|
What do you call someone who believes they'll find love with a corpse?
A hopeless necromantic.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 19, 10:05PM
2023
|
I milked a cow once, and it tasted pretty good.
Until it asked my why I touched it’s balls.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 19, 9:05PM
2023
|
[NSFW] An elder couple were sitting in their broken down car on the side of the road waiting for a t
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 19, 8:05PM
2023
|
A drunk wakes up in jail, "Why am I here officer?"
"For drinking." replies the cop.
"Great" says th
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Sep 19, 8:05AM
2023
|
My wife thinks our friend is lying when he claimed that he scaled Mount Everest, but I disagree.
I t
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Sep 19, 7:05AM
2023
|
Why do the French eat snails?
Because they don't like fastfood.
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Sep 19, 6:05AM
2023
|
A poor man and rich man
The poor man asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christm
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 19, 5:05AM
2023
|
Is my wife dissatisfied with my body?
A little part of me says “yes”.
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Sep 19, 4:05AM
2023
|
My phone battery was dying while at work, so I plugged it in to the nearest wall socket.
All of a su
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 19, 3:05AM
2023
|
Husband and wife are shopping...
A Husband and Wife went shopping together just before Christmas. Th
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 19, 2:05AM
2023
|
What happens if you don't pay your exorcism bill?
You get repossessed.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 19, 1:05AM
2023
|
I was not scared of Bats
Until I met The Batman
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Sep 19, 12:05AM
2023
|
A baby camel asks his father, “Dad, why do we have a hump on our back?”
The dad replies, "So that we
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Sep 18, 11:05PM
2023
|
I inquired of my wife why she chose to marry me.
I inquired of my wife why she chose to marry me.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 10:05PM
2023
|
They had the audacity to insinuate that I, a learned scholar, did not know what the "f-word" was, wh
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Sep 18, 9:05PM
2023
|
A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so ch
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 8:05PM
2023
|
I told my wife I had a crush on Beyoncé
She replied with: “well, whatever floats your boat”
I’m con
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 8:05AM
2023
|
A man comes to a doctor
\- Please, Doctor, help me. Every night, I have the same terrible nightmare!
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 7:05AM
2023
|
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron,
which is ironic.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 6:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a 60 year old striker who averages 3 goals a game?
Jerry-hat-trick
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 5:05AM
2023
|
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat,
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 4:05AM
2023
|
"Thank you", I said as I picked up my order from the bakery.
"It's semen drizzle cake", the baker re
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 3:05AM
2023
|
This morning, my wife successfully finished a 40-week bodybuilding program...
​
The resu
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 2:05AM
2023
|
I was fired
From my job at the keyboard factory. They said I wasn't putting enough shifts. It was be
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 1:05AM
2023
|
I gave my friend airpods for his birthdays.
He cursed me out in sign language.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 18, 12:05AM
2023
|
A new teacher is assigned to teach geography class in school.
When she enters the classroom, she's h
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 11:05PM
2023
|
Donald Trump finds a magic lamp. He rubs it, and a genie emerges...
Genie: "I'll grant you three wis
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 10:05PM
2023
|
I thought that I had killed all the last century comedy characters turned evil.
One could only imagi
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 9:05PM
2023
|
So old Jed is screwing his goat when a neighbor witnesses this unspeakable act of bestiality.
The ne
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 8:05PM
2023
|
An old dad calls his son and declares, "Listen, your mother and I have decided to end our marriage.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 6:05AM
2023
|
A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle when he came upon little Johnny tr
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 5:05AM
2023
|
What's a mathematician's favourite kind of boob?
Quan"titties"
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 4:05AM
2023
|
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber
... |
1
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1
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1
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0
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0
|
6
|
Sep 17, 3:05AM
2023
|
You know what 50 cent did when he got hungry? 58.
My dad told me this and I laughed because he knew
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 2:05AM
2023
|
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife recently did a full mastectomy.
Now she's my one-tit wonder.
True story, thank god she ha
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 17, 12:05AM
2023
|
A 60 year millionaires is getting married. His friends are jealous and one of them ask how he landed
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
1
|
Sep 16, 11:05PM
2023
|
7 yr old: Dad! What letter has the most water?
Me: The Most Water?
7 yr. Old: Yes The most water.
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Sep 16, 10:05PM
2023
|
the eerie man was just standing there, staring at me.
Mostly because i had peed my pants
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 16, 9:05PM
2023
|
An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 16, 8:05PM
2023
|
An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentin
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 16, 7:05AM
2023
|
A city gent was driving through the countryside
when he notices, out in a field, an old man fucking
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 16, 6:05AM
2023
|
Why are hurricanes named only after girls?
Otherwise they'd be called HIMicaines
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 16, 5:05AM
2023
|
A lady is walking down the street and sees a parrot in the window of a pet store.
She stops to admir
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Sep 16, 4:05AM
2023
|
NSFW
Girlfriend dumped me because I can’t ejaculate very far during sex
Apparently that’s one of my
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 16, 3:05AM
2023
|
As an experiment, I combined some Viagra with penis enlarging pills and dissolved them in some eye d
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 16, 2:05AM
2023
|
How many Germans does take to screw in light bulb?
One.
Germans very efficient. And no sense of h
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 16, 1:05AM
2023
|
The FNAF movie ends and the name of the movie appears
Suddenly everybody starts simultaneously singi
... |
1
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
1
|
Sep 16, 12:05AM
2023
|
Three guys go in for a job interview.
The first guy goes in and kicks ass, best job interview he’s e
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Sep 15, 11:05PM
2023
|
This subreddit made my sister who suffer from major depression laugh. Thank you all
My sister has be
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 15, 10:05PM
2023
|
"Oh, I'm so wet, give it to me now!", she yelled.
She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 15, 9:05PM
2023
|
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He orders a drink. The bartender asks him, "What'd you do this
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 15, 8:05PM
2023
|
Why do dogs float in water?
Because they’re good buoys.
Been a dad for 6 days today!!
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 15, 6:05AM
2023
|
I went to my blonde doctor to ask what was wrong with me
I sat in the blonde doctor's office and tol
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 15, 5:05AM
2023
|
Yesterdays dad joke calendar … I don’t get it?
“I heard a photographer was killed in a freak acciden
... |
0
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
2
|
Sep 15, 4:05AM
2023
|
A little girl and her mother are at Church...
when the little girl starts to feel sick. Her mother
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 15, 3:05AM
2023
|
My wife found letters I had been hiding, proving that I was cheating on her.
Now, she refuses to pla
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 15, 2:05AM
2023
|
What's the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a f
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 15, 1:05AM
2023
|
I lost my virginity to the family vacuum cleaner
It sucked
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 15, 12:05AM
2023
|
Steve dates a girl for the first time
Unfortunately, he doesn't know anything about sex, so he fears
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 11:05PM
2023
|
My contortionist wife wants to do “the pretzel” in bed tonight.
She’s so knotty.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 10:05PM
2023
|
I the masseuse why she turned me into a frog.
She answered, "Well, it's a 'happy ending' for *me*."
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 9:05PM
2023
|
A duck walks into a tavern and orders a beer.
The bartender thinks "Wow, a talking duck," and pours
... |
1
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 14, 8:05PM
2023
|
My friend was mad at me because I didn't want to join him at the nude beach.
He said I was too cloth
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 7:05AM
2023
|
The Naked Cowboy
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blond cowboy coming
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 6:05AM
2023
|
I dated a zombie once
When we broke up, she fell apart
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 5:05AM
2023
|
Why do 50% of married men not fall asleep after sex?
Because they still need to drive home
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 4:05AM
2023
|
I told my Vietnamese uncle-in-law that I'm part Indian.
He said, "Oh, the un spicy Indians?"
The lo
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 3:05AM
2023
|
Three rough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop.
They see a grizzled old-timer having breakfast.
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 2:05AM
2023
|
I have 19k coins to giveaway
Gimme your best one liners. Make my eyes roll.
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 1:05AM
2023
|
One of the goals of the 2023 Writers Strike is to limit the use of A.I.
In other news, A.I. just got
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 14, 12:05AM
2023
|
I was having dinner with my boss and his wife said, ‘How many potatoes would you like?’. I said ‘Ooh
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 11:05PM
2023
|
I pirated a movie last night
Gave it 3.14 stars
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 10:05PM
2023
|
To the 14 other people of this sub currently online:
Hi, I'm Bug, and I'm also unemployed.
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 9:05PM
2023
|
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be ho
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 13, 8:05PM
2023
|
A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender "I’ll take a rum ……… and coke.." Bartender s
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 6:05AM
2023
|
Mrs O'Malley, who lived in a seaside town, was continually annoyed by the seagulls...
[NSFW]
Mrs O'
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 5:05AM
2023
|
My teacher asked me what is the 9th letter of the alphabet?
I guessed the answer and i was right.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 4:05AM
2023
|
What the hot bride said to her stockbroker husband the day after they were married.
Past performance
... |
0
|
1
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0
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0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 13, 3:05AM
2023
|
Man takes a "tinder date" to a wedding.
A man desperately needed a date to a wedding, and picked up
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 2:05AM
2023
|
An old man decides he wants to meet his grandson before he dies
He lives in the wilderness like a he
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 1:05AM
2023
|
A horny guy walks into a job agency office.
He asked, "Any openings that I can fill?"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 13, 12:05AM
2023
|
Kinky sisters……..
A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die.
They arrive at the gates o
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 11:05PM
2023
|
My wife asked me to go get 6 cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
When I got home I realized that
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 12, 10:05PM
2023
|
I deplore the censorship of words such as "t*ts", "b**bies", "p*ckers", and "h**ters".
It makes read
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 9:05PM
2023
|
The US president asked for estimates from contractors from different countries to paint the White Ho
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 8:05PM
2023
|
My wife told me if this gets 1000 upvotes, I can get anal for my birthday
Please upvote. I’m having
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 6:05AM
2023
|
During Mass, an elderly woman said into her husband's ear:
"I've just had a quiet fart, act like it'
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 5:05AM
2023
|
If girls with big boobs work at hooters, where do girls with one leg work?
IHOP
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 4:05AM
2023
|
Why was 10 traumatized?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
P.S. Let me share my favorite 9/11 j
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 3:05AM
2023
|
I pirated a video game yesterday
Gave it 3.14 stars
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 2:05AM
2023
|
Stalin is giving a big public speech...
... and someone sneezes. Stalin says, "Who sneezed?" Nobody
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 1:05AM
2023
|
What do you call a snake’s temper tantrum?
A hissy-fit
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 12, 12:05AM
2023
|
I was visiting a mental hospital
And I asked the director how they know if someone is insane and nee
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
Sep 11, 11:05PM
2023
|
When I started working at an Indian restaurant, they made me sign a paper saying I wouldn't talk abo
... |
0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 11, 10:05PM
2023
|
I deplore the censorship of words such as "t*ts", "b**bies", "p*ckers", and "h**ters".
It makes read
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Sep 11, 9:05PM
2023
|
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference
Three engineers and thr
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 11, 8:05PM
2023
|
I like my women the way I like my coffee
I don't like coffee.
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Sep 11, 8:05AM
2023
|
A man asked how much half a head of lettuce costs.
A guy is working at a grocery store when a man a
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 11, 7:05AM
2023
|
My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records
But the librarian told me to take it out.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 11, 6:05AM
2023
|
A young lady was swimming at a pool in the gym and was having a great time burning calories and keep
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 11, 5:05AM
2023
|
Proud Dad - daughter dropped this one on me
We were eating and she said "This is false advertising,
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 11, 4:05AM
2023
|
I’m so terrible at everything that I can’t even play Spore right.
But every time I try to think abou
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 11, 3:05AM
2023
|
The spoon
Customer at restaurant drops a spoon. Waiter nearby immediately replaces the dropped spoon
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 11, 2:05AM
2023
|
I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive.
My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
|
3
|
Sep 11, 1:05AM
2023
|
I visited the USA for a roadtrip and met the love of my life.
Never knew I had a cousin living in Al
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
Sep 11, 12:05AM
2023
|
Three friends celebrate with a night on the town...
Three friends celebrate with a night on the town
... |
0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
Sep 10, 11:05PM
2023
|
Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans. The first says ,"I'm planning o
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 10, 10:05PM
2023
|
I was a bit nervous when my roommate told me she had an opportunity for me that would involve recrui
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 10, 9:05PM
2023
|
A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine...
He speaks with the officer, who assigns him
... |
1
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 10, 8:05PM
2023
|
I asked my grandpa, "After 65 years together, you still call grandma darling, beautiful and honey. W
... |
2
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Sep 10, 8:05AM
2023
|
In the newest Pixar film Elemental, why is that one water character considered "non-binary"...
...wh
... |
0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 10, 7:05AM
2023
|
I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it.
You might not believe me, but I saw it with
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 10, 6:05AM
2023
|
Worst "joke" I've ever heard.
This is a "joke" told by one of my coworkers Jake. There was me him an
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
Sep 10, 5:05AM
2023
|
Looking for a good dad joke to say at my daughter's wedding today?
The one about the emotional weddi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 10, 4:05AM
2023
|
I decided to eat a burger.
Little did I know it was a regular burger with literally nothing else hap
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 10, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man and a woman are seated next to each other on a flight.
They start eyeing each other, and both
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 10, 2:05AM
2023
|
My wife says I’m a sex machine.
She calls it a fucking tool but I know what she means.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 10, 1:05AM
2023
|
My family hates toddlers, so on my son’s 2nd birthday, I kept calling him ‘my toddler’ for emphasis,
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
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0
|
3
|
Sep 10, 12:05AM
2023
|
A priest opens his confessional panel to a young boy.
The boy says, "Forgive me Father for I have si
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 09, 11:05PM
2023
|
My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 09, 10:05PM
2023
|
I thought I’d sneak a polite fart out.
The wet feeling down my legs let me know I’d made a mistake.
... |
0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
|
Sep 09, 9:05PM
2023
|
Blonde Wife
One winter morning during breakfast a husband and wife in Northern Minnesota were listen
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Sep 09, 8:05PM
2023
|
A guy is hired to paint lines on a little country road, so the boss gives him a big can of paint, a
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Sep 09, 6:05AM
2023
|
What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe?
Kilometery Cyrus
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 09, 5:05AM
2023
|
A boy named David Buttlicker is teased in school
He asks his parents if he can change his name. "No
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 09, 4:05AM
2023
|
Is finding out your spouse sucked hundreds of dicks before getting married really such a big deal?
O
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 09, 3:05AM
2023
|
When I turned 45 my wife asked me if I would be into trying some “butt stuff”.
I said “sure!” upon w
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 09, 2:05AM
2023
|
A man's wife dies young
The funeral is heartbreaking. The poll bearers pick up the casket and are mo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 09, 1:05AM
2023
|
A weasel invites his friend, the rat, over and asks if he'd like a drink.
"Sure," says the rat. "Do
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 09, 12:05AM
2023
|
An engineer goes to hell
A professional engineer dies and because of some misfiled paperwork, ends u
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 11:05PM
2023
|
A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says: "Make me one with everything."
After a brief
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 10:05PM
2023
|
I decided to come out to my mother: "Mom, i like the same kind of people that you like"
"Men?" "No,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 9:05PM
2023
|
Husband and wife…………..
A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency looking t
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 08, 8:05PM
2023
|
My daughter burned me
Saw a joke on here that I told my daughter:
"Where does a dad store his jokes?
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 6:05AM
2023
|
What's German for virgin?
Goodentite.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 5:05AM
2023
|
Did you know that Coke tastes better from a glass bottle?
It's uncanny
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 4:05AM
2023
|
A newly-wed couple moves into their new house
One day the husband comes home from work and his wife
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 3:05AM
2023
|
Made my boss groan with this one yesterday
So she was talking about a steak meal that her boyfriend
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 2:05AM
2023
|
A man is walking through the grocery store, when a woman stops him and says
"I think you're the fath
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 1:05AM
2023
|
Where do nerds get their water?
From a well, actually
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 08, 12:05AM
2023
|
Mark says to John: "Can you believe that an Arab millionaire saw my wife and told me that he would p
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Sep 07, 11:05PM
2023
|
My wife asked for a divorce today, saying I was too un-American
I saw it coming from a kilometer awa
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 07, 10:05PM
2023
|
My Chinese horticulturalist friend reassured me that the garden was salvageable using his controvers
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 07, 9:05PM
2023
|
Man walks into a bar with an octopus
He says "I bet anyone $50 they can't bring me a musical instrum
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 07, 8:05PM
2023
|
Why did Mike Tyson go to the Christian plastic surgeon?
For a faith lift
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 07, 7:05AM
2023
|
A genie appears and offers a golfer three wishes.
A genie appears and offers a golfer three wishes.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 07, 6:05AM
2023
|
I hired a limo for a night out unaware no driver was provided ...
Total waste! All that money spent
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 07, 5:05AM
2023
|
Sam said to Fred, “I put £20 on a horse last week, and he came in at twenty-five to one.”
“Wow! you
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 07, 4:05AM
2023
|
My daughter told me she wanted to date a soccer player
I told her to look for the least active playe
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 07, 3:05AM
2023
|
I got caught speeding
The officer pulled me over and told me I can't drive 70mph in a 30mph zone.
T
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 07, 2:05AM
2023
|
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 07, 1:05AM
2023
|
My dad killed me again
This why I hate playing mortal kombat with him
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 07, 12:05AM
2023
|
Two economists are walking in a forest when they Come across a pile of shit.
Two economists are walk
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 11:05PM
2023
|
Why are mathematicians the worst people to date?
Because they give way too much respect to their x
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 10:05PM
2023
|
Getting under 20 votes on a post is like when friends are just being nice.
Except, that's like 30 mo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 9:05PM
2023
|
An anti-Establishment joke from India
A vagrant, finding no place on the pavement, parked himself at
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 8:05PM
2023
|
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.
The police put out an alert to be on the lo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 6:05AM
2023
|
New Pet
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store an
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 06, 5:05AM
2023
|
If smoking weed is a sin...
I'll see you all inhale
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Sep 06, 4:05AM
2023
|
A woman goes in front of a judge.
The judge said, "Why are you here today?"
She said, "I stole a ca
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 3:05AM
2023
|
This one really happened and takes some setup, but the ending is crap, I promise.
My son, we'll call
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 2:05AM
2023
|
A lawyer calls up a plumber to come out to his house...
The plumber takes a look and says, OK, I can
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 1:05AM
2023
|
My wife to my daughter: Do you think we’re made of money?
My daughter to my wife: Isn’t that what MO
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 06, 12:05AM
2023
|
It was Bob’s first day working at a store that sold EVERYTHING…
…basically if it was a marketable, l
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 11:05PM
2023
|
Adam tells God he's really lonely on earth alone
God says "Adam I'm going to make you a woman."
Ada
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 10:05PM
2023
|
I said to my Dad; “Dad, I’m Gayy”
Then he stood up and said “Nice to meet you, Gayy ”JUNIOR“!“ and t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 9:05PM
2023
|
One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving when the kid he hired to mow his lawn, a local k
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 8:05PM
2023
|
My daughter (17) hit me with this one
Over the weekend we took a daddy daughter trip to San Antonio.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 10:05AM
2023
|
Spooky Season
Friends with benefits and I were talking about costumes to wear to an upcoming Hallowe
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 9:05AM
2023
|
A man gets pulled over by the police...
The officer asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
"No
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 8:05AM
2023
|
Vegan: “People who sell meat are gross!"
Non-vegan: “People who sell veggies are grocer.”
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 7:05AM
2023
|
“Don’t marry the first person you fall in love with…”
“Marry all of them.” - Polygamist
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 6:05AM
2023
|
An average looking man walks into a bar.
A beautiful woman approaches him. The woman asks the man
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 05, 5:05AM
2023
|
My girlfriend poked me in the eyes..
I don't see her anymore
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 05, 4:05AM
2023
|
I said to my Dad; “Dad, I’m Gayy”
Then he stood up and said “Nice to meet you, Gayy ”JUNIOR“!“ and t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man goes home to his wife, after being fired from his job at a chips factory..
The wife acts surp
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 2:05AM
2023
|
What did Harry Potter say when he was filling up his car?
Expensive Petroleum
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 1:05AM
2023
|
When I was little, I used to judge Ms. Hannigan from “Annie” singing a song about how little girls d
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 05, 12:05AM
2023
|
A man sees a sign outside a house: 'Talking greyhound For Sale’
He rings the bell, the owner appears
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 04, 11:05PM
2023
|
My son was frustrated because apparently he just doesn’t understand girls. I assured him saying that
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 04, 10:05PM
2023
|
They knocked me down when they misheard me saying I was a "podiphile".
I stopped protesting when the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 04, 9:05PM
2023
|
Putin decreed that all time zones in Russia be unified.
After this had occurred, the Prime Minister
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 04, 8:05PM
2023
|
A man and a woman meet in a programming class. Suddenly man touches the women's breast. Women: Hey!
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 04, 5:05AM
2023
|
My wife asked for a divorce today. Said a was too un-American.
Saw it coming from a kilometer away.
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Sep 04, 4:05AM
2023
|
Okay fellow dads, I need some D&D themed dad jokes
I love dad jokes, so in this campaign I am DM
... |
0
|
3
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
9
|
Sep 04, 3:05AM
2023
|
There were three nurses in a morgue... They entered a room where they had discovered that there was
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 04, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why is a show better at the planetarium than at the movie theater?
We took our kids to a planetarium
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 04, 1:05AM
2023
|
St. Peter is standing at Heaven's Gates
when an angel comes to him with a message that he needs to a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 04, 12:05AM
2023
|
I told my wife I absolutely love Worcestershire sauce. She asked what's so special about it.
It's ha
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 03, 11:05PM
2023
|
The gambler calls his tax attorney, and they go to see the IRS agent
As they are waiting in the offi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 03, 10:05PM
2023
|
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex
Phone to tell her about it
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 03, 9:05PM
2023
|
My grandfather told me this one not long before he died
A man is in his boat out on the lake with a
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 03, 8:05PM
2023
|
Accidental joke just happened
My wife was in the mood for ice cream and went to Google maps to check
... |
0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 03, 6:05AM
2023
|
What do you call it when a guy is going down on a girl and suddenly stops?
McConnellingus.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 03, 5:05AM
2023
|
I refer to Monday-Thursday as “Greg” and Friday-Sunday as “Ian”.
It’s my Greg-or-Ian calendar.
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 03, 4:05AM
2023
|
My fitness instructor advised me to wear loose clothing while exercising.
I would not have joined th
... |
0
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0
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 03, 3:05AM
2023
|
I heard Jimmy Buffet died because of some woman.
I don't know. I think it was his own damn fault.
... |
1
|
1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Sep 03, 2:05AM
2023
|
Two drunk guys are standing atop a tall building
While opening another beer, one guy says "It's craz
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 03, 1:05AM
2023
|
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
An arm and a leg.
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 03, 12:05AM
2023
|
what do you call a boat carrying penis shaped potatoes?
A dictatorship
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Sep 02, 11:05PM
2023
|
I asked my wife if I was the only one she'd been with.....
She said yes, the others were all 9's and
... |
1
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
|
1
|
Sep 02, 10:05PM
2023
|
I was horrified when I realized what members of "North American Marlon Brando Look Alikes" actually
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 02, 9:05PM
2023
|
A man and his wife were driving down the road and talking...
the wife said to her husband, "Honey if
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 02, 8:05PM
2023
|
I told my cowoker I was going skydiving labor day weekend and he asked how many feet I was diving fr
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Sep 02, 9:05AM
2023
|
I was dating someone with a lazy eye, but I broke up with her...
Turns out she was seeing someone on
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 02, 8:05AM
2023
|
Did you know that Bill Nye has a daughter that doesn't believe in science?
Her name is Dee
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Sep 02, 7:05AM
2023
|
I asked my wife why did the hit chocolate tasted and smelled of almonds
🤦♀️ because you asked for m
... |
0
|
2
|
0
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0
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0
|
6
|
Sep 02, 6:05AM
2023
|
Three Buddhist monks die in a car crash…
They arrive in a beautiful clouded world and begin to wal
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 02, 5:05AM
2023
|
True story - At our home we have pool with a Polaris unit that the vacuums the pool.
We call it "Pau
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 02, 4:05AM
2023
|
“Ah, agent 69’s report details how her target willing told her the technical specs from their newest
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 02, 3:05AM
2023
|
A priest and a businessman were playing golf.
The businessman tried to putt the ball, but the ball r
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 02, 2:05AM
2023
|
The entire purpose of a bayonet
is to bring a knife to a gun fight.
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Sep 02, 1:05AM
2023
|
My mom said that she gave birth to me I should send her money
So I send monopoly money in the mail t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 02, 12:05AM
2023
|
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are on a camping trip
After a hearty meal and a good bottle of wine,
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 01, 11:05PM
2023
|
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A tsunami.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Sep 01, 10:05PM
2023
|
I showed him the obscure painting of a supermodel having intercourse with ironman.
That's when he sa
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 9:05PM
2023
|
I started my new job as a bingo caller last night and halfway through calling the numbers I farted l
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 8:05PM
2023
|
My friend died because we couldn't remember his blood type. But he was very strong till the end..
He
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 10:05AM
2023
|
I was given a button and I was told if I was to press it I get 20000 dollars but one random person I
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 9:05AM
2023
|
Dinner date
After a fancy dinner date, a young couple was walking back to their car, a beautiful Por
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 8:05AM
2023
|
Why did the drummer refuse to perform an encore?
He was afraid of the repercussions
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 7:05AM
2023
|
Me and my cat kept meowing st each other from different rooms
I found out later I wasn't my cat that
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 6:05AM
2023
|
A Woman walks in the forest and meets a genie.
A woman one day takes a hike around the forest by her
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 5:05AM
2023
|
There’s no need to tailgate me when I’m doing 50 in a 30!
And those flashing lights on your car just
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Sep 01, 4:05AM
2023
|
The therapist said that that I need to make an effort to listen to my wife.
She is right but I am st
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man meets a beautiful, really sexy girl.
He really wants her. So he invites her to a movie, and sh
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 2:05AM
2023
|
A man walks into a bar holding a golf club.
The bartender asks “Why the golf club?”
The man respond
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 1:05AM
2023
|
I've volunteered for a medical experiment where I was injected with DNA from an elephant.
And frankl
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Sep 01, 12:05AM
2023
|
Three vampires were arguing about who's the fastest.
The first said, "See that village? I can kill a
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 11:05PM
2023
|
My doctor advised me to cut down on my sodium intake.
I took his advice with a pinch of salt.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 10:05PM
2023
|
Upon finding the block of cheese, I stared questioningly at my daughter.
Giggling, she replied, "See
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 9:05PM
2023
|
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 8:05PM
2023
|
I saw a guy and a girl doing high fives in a chemistry lab
and I thought, "wow they be bonding."
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 7:05AM
2023
|
"I'm dating a biologist," said the man...
"And I don't like to brag, but when I go over to her place
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 6:05AM
2023
|
I dad joked a family on a delivery, and got dad joked in return!
.... and it was glorious!
For cont
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 5:05AM
2023
|
A man is sitting at a bar at closing time, complaining to his friend.
How is it I always get in trou
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 4:05AM
2023
|
Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years,
The dry erase board is probably the most remarkable
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Aug 31, 3:05AM
2023
|
A man seeks cover in a cabin from the winter storm.
Very NSFW!
Allright, so this is a story from No
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 2:05AM
2023
|
My first dad joke!!!
Husband is rassling with the dog, playfully putting her feet in her face...
H
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 1:05AM
2023
|
What did the first scientist to perfect cold fusion say?
Owe yeah, it's all coming together.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 31, 12:05AM
2023
|
The Madame of a Brothel sees the door open and in comes a little boy with a squished frog on a strin
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 30, 11:05PM
2023
|
My daughter is going to be a great dad someday!
This exchange happened with my 14yo this afternoon w
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 30, 10:05PM
2023
|
I saw my cheating ex’s car and so I went up to start trashing and keying it Carrie Underwood style.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 30, 9:05PM
2023
|
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid i
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 30, 8:05PM
2023
|
"Your underwear is much too tight and revealing," I said to my wife.
She replied, "Wear your own the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 30, 6:05AM
2023
|
How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Six.
One supervises;
One arranges fo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 30, 5:05AM
2023
|
Doctor: You have only 2 months left to live.
Patient: Well, I'll take next August, and August of nex
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Aug 30, 4:05AM
2023
|
A traveling salesman stopped at a remote hillbilly bar for a beer. As he sat at the bar, the bartend
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 30, 3:05AM
2023
|
Wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it...
We had some drinks, cool guy, wants to
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 30, 2:05AM
2023
|
his door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to b
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 30, 1:05AM
2023
|
What costs hundreds of millions of dollars, but is completely worthless?
Runner up in the presidenti
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 30, 12:05AM
2023
|
Today a friend said to me: "Marco, aren't you sad to see your friends getting married and you being
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 29, 11:05PM
2023
|
My boss asked me to make a business presentation and said I should start it with a joke...
So, I put
... |
2
|
1
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
9
|
Aug 29, 10:05PM
2023
|
I told my neighbor I'd spent the whole day tucking socks at my job at the underwear outlet store.
I
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 9:05PM
2023
|
A WW2 joke I heard recently
So, it’s 1941 and a young German boy is listening to the radio. On the r
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 8:05PM
2023
|
I used to take Viagra before heading out to the office. However, these days I’m all about Omega-3 su
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Aug 29, 10:05AM
2023
|
That smell
All day noticed a smell, the cat left a present for me.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 9:05AM
2023
|
A married man keeps telling his wife, “Honey, you have such a beautiful butt.”
A married man keeps t
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 29, 8:05AM
2023
|
What did Daddy Plane say to his Son when he refused to land?
“I don’t appreciate your altitude right
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 7:05AM
2023
|
I just bought a new running shoe called, "Crack Peds."
I don't know what they lace the damned things
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 6:05AM
2023
|
Alone at the table…….
This guy is dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there’s a beautiful redhead
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 5:05AM
2023
|
What do you call someone who is 6’ 10”, weighs 280 lbs and is attracted to both men and women?
Bi an
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 4:05AM
2023
|
Last night I fucked a girl with one leg.
I should have used my dick instead.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 3:05AM
2023
|
Dear Audrey Advice.....
My son is a strapping 265lb star linebacker at our local university and a le
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 2:05AM
2023
|
As a guy who is 5’7”, I’m surprised guys my height think they’re locked out of dating
Most ladies’ p
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 1:05AM
2023
|
Tell me something positive about yourself, I'll start:
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 29, 12:05AM
2023
|
An Italian sniper and a Greek sniper...
An Italian sniper and a Greek sniper are perched in a tower
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 28, 11:05PM
2023
|
Backfired!
My grandkids always say, "I LOVE (insert food, activity etc.) My dad answer is always,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 28, 10:05PM
2023
|
I simply asked "You OK, OP?" and, before long, they began unloading all their trauma, trials and tri
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 28, 9:05PM
2023
|
A robber held up a well-dressed man, pointing his gun and yelling, “Give me all your money!”
The man
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 28, 8:05PM
2023
|
Who has the most worthless job in the world?
The guy who installs signal lights on BMW cars.
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Aug 28, 7:05AM
2023
|
Four musicians are arguing about who gives the best blowjobs in the band.
The first says, “Clarinet
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Aug 28, 6:05AM
2023
|
Why did the cow go “OOW”?
It was upside down
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 28, 5:05AM
2023
|
A guy driving along gets pulled over by a traffic cop for going 1 mph over the limit
The guy steps o
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 28, 4:05AM
2023
|
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon?
It’s not the end of the world.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 28, 3:05AM
2023
|
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 28, 2:05AM
2023
|
Real story from this morning
It's super hot where we live so my 8 year old daughter filled up a spra
... |
0
|
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
8
|
Aug 28, 1:05AM
2023
|
i just invented a new sport for women
Kitchenball
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 28, 12:05AM
2023
|
Two men and a woman are going to hitman school…
… and their teacher takes one of the men out into th
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 27, 11:05PM
2023
|
What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 27, 10:05PM
2023
|
A best thing about cameras
Deciding whether it's worth answering the door when you hear a knock at t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 27, 9:05PM
2023
|
A small town lawyer called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a 80 year old woman. He approa
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 27, 8:05PM
2023
|
I don't like John Candy
Ok, technically they're called urinal mints, but still they taste horrible.
... |
1
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
1
|
9
|
Aug 27, 9:05AM
2023
|
Guy walks into a bar and yells, "Hey barkeep, how about a round of drinks for everyone here before t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 27, 8:05AM
2023
|
Why can't candles sleep?
Because there's no rest for the wicked.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 27, 7:05AM
2023
|
Saw my cat staring at the wall one day.
People say animals are like their owners.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 27, 6:05AM
2023
|
A school principal greets a new student and asks his name.
The kid answers, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, si
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 27, 5:05AM
2023
|
Someone stole all the toilets at the police station
Unfortunately the police say they have nothing t
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 27, 4:05AM
2023
|
So today is National dog day and natinal topless day.
I guess everyone wants to show off their puppi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 27, 3:05AM
2023
|
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other...
"I can't believe I blew 40 bucks in there"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 27, 2:05AM
2023
|
My friend's Xbox got stolen
He was so upset about it that he couldn't be consoled.
... |
0
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Aug 27, 1:05AM
2023
|
I've was just watching a movie about an antelope who is a vampire.
Vlad the Impala.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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Aug 27, 12:05AM
2023
|
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with wom
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Aug 26, 11:05PM
2023
|
I accidentally glued myself to a copy of my autobiography. My wife doesn't believe me.
But that's my
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 26, 10:05PM
2023
|
I just saw a duck running around like it was crazy!
The damn thing must have been on quack!
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 26, 9:05PM
2023
|
[NSFW]I Was Surprised When My deadbeat roommate actually had rent money on time
"Yeah, man, I got a
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 26, 8:05PM
2023
|
My grief counselor died.
He was so good, I don’t even care.
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Aug 26, 9:05AM
2023
|
I saw an ad that said "television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"
and I thought to myself, I can
... |
1
|
1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Aug 26, 8:05AM
2023
|
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Aug 26, 7:05AM
2023
|
I thought I farted
But I actually sharted
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 26, 6:05AM
2023
|
What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 26, 5:05AM
2023
|
I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
I’ll let you know.
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Aug 26, 4:05AM
2023
|
There goes my idiot neighbor waddling down the street straddle-legged again.
She's botched *another*
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Aug 26, 3:05AM
2023
|
OMG!!! I was sitting in the Nordstrom bathroom stall
And had just sat down when a voice in the next
... |
1
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1
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0
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0
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0
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4
|
Aug 26, 2:05AM
2023
|
Obi Wan: "Luke why didn't any of your marriages work out?"
Luke: "Didn't you tell me: 'Use divorce?!
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 26, 1:05AM
2023
|
After work went to get drinks with some friends.
Next think I remember was waking up in the middle o
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Aug 26, 12:05AM
2023
|
Wife: "I have a lot of my own clothes I'd like to donate."
Husband: "Why bother? It's easier to thro
... |
1
|
1
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0
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0
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0
|
4
|
Aug 25, 11:05PM
2023
|
My wife walked in on me eating uncooked meat
Clearly surprised, she demanded an explanation.
"Well,
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Aug 25, 10:05PM
2023
|
I'm not as dumb as people think, because I finally figured out why they tell actors to "Break a leg!
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 25, 9:05PM
2023
|
I told my wife I saw an alien on the way to work this morning
She said “how do you know it’s on its
... |
1
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
1
|
Aug 25, 8:05PM
2023
|
True Story: Took my family out to dinner. We entered the restaurant and I asked the host if we could
... |
2
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
|
5
|
Aug 25, 6:05AM
2023
|
I've just started a new job.
My boss said "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky". I said
... |
1
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
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4
|
Aug 25, 5:05AM
2023
|
There's a rich Arab man trying to buy every fish and chip shop in Britain
His name is Sultan Vinegar
... |
0
|
0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 25, 4:05AM
2023
|
Why are trans women so good at swimming?
Because they are boyn’t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Aug 25, 3:05AM
2023
|
I was cleaning my house...
When I ran across an old dad-joke daily calender. You know, the one that
... |
0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 25, 2:05AM
2023
|
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator sh
... |
0
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1
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0
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0
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0
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3
|
Aug 25, 1:05AM
2023
|
My dad once tried making coffee. When he tasted it he said, 'Ahh, like making love in a canoe.'
When
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 25, 12:05AM
2023
|
First golf joke I’ve heard less than 1,000,000 times.
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are braggin
... |
0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 24, 11:05PM
2023
|
My girlfriend asked me to sit down on the couch, and softly said “I think we should talk. I …I… don’
... |
0
|
0
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0
|
0
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0
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0
|
Aug 24, 10:05PM
2023
|
I like this feature of my new smart watch that displays my status as "OK".
Leaning across the couch
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
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0
|
Aug 24, 9:05PM
2023
|
I matched with a tinder profile that had no pics.
We chatted a bit. Smart and funny so i asked for a
... |
1
|
0
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0
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0
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0
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1
|
Aug 24, 8:05PM
2023
|
My son told me a girl at his school named IKEA had to change her name to stop being picked on.
I res
... |
0
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0
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0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 24, 8:05AM
2023
|
Russian prime minister Mishustin comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.
"I fl
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 24, 7:05AM
2023
|
Whats the password?
My kids made a blanket fort and put up a sign saying "no parents allowed!" They
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
|
0
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0
|
Aug 24, 6:05AM
2023
|
For those of you who are about to get married, here’s something to consider:
On the one hand, you ge
... |
0
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0
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0
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0
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0
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0
|
Aug 24, 5:05AM
2023
|
I went to a psychic the other day. Knocked on her door and she yelled "Who is it?"
So I left
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 24, 4:05AM
2023
|
My face is only long because my rider failed to perform bone reconstruction surgery on my skull, ya
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 24, 3:05AM
2023
|
my grief counsellor died this week
but luckily he was so good I didn't give a sh*t
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 24, 2:05AM
2023
|
When I came home from work, my wife said "Ugh, the baby has been crying for hours. Can you take over
... |
0
|
1
|
0
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0
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0
|
3
|
Aug 24, 1:05AM
2023
|
Man this soap tastes awful.
At least I still have my rat poison
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 24, 12:05AM
2023
|
People are usually shocked...
when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 23, 11:05PM
2023
|
TRIGGER WARNING: What did the dad say when his son came out as trans?
You're not my son anymore
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 23, 10:05PM
2023
|
My dentist told me to floss twice a day to prevent a viral infection.
*Goes viral on tiktok*
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 23, 9:05PM
2023
|
The woman says to her husband: "If i had known you were so poor, i wouldn't have married you."
Husba
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 23, 8:05PM
2023
|
Bruce Lee had an even faster brother!!
Sudden Lee
... |
3
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Aug 23, 6:05AM
2023
|
Girls must buy $1000 purses just to impress other girls...
No guy has ever said " Bro, she was ugly.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 23, 5:05AM
2023
|
90% of bald people still own a comb
They just can’t part with it
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 23, 4:05AM
2023
|
A mute man wanted to buy condoms, but he wasn't sure how to communicate with the pharmacist. His par
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 23, 3:05AM
2023
|
True story! I asked my son how he liked the kielbasa sausage I cooked
He answered, "Meh, I've had be
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 23, 2:05AM
2023
|
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 23, 1:05AM
2023
|
Made a real life Dad-Joke. Need Verdict:
I was cleaning inside a boat water tank earlier today, and
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 23, 12:05AM
2023
|
Gen Z names are so stupid. For instance, a young man introduced himself to me as Jathan..... Not Jas
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 11:05PM
2023
|
My barber realised that his scissors weren't working so he apologized.
I replied "well sorry's not g
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 10:05PM
2023
|
I sat on the floor
I forgot to add the h to sat
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 9:05PM
2023
|
A sign on a restaurant window says "If you order it and we don't have it, you instantly win one mill
... |
1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 22, 8:05PM
2023
|
I accidentally swallowed the scrabble tiles for N, O, U, O, T, and Y.
I shit you not.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 10:05AM
2023
|
"This bestselling detective novel is by far the best ever written by this author"
"No shit, **Sherlo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 9:05AM
2023
|
You can paint a thousand paintings and not be called an artist...
You can run a thousand marathons a
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 22, 8:05AM
2023
|
Did you hear about the author who used a period after every word?
He. Got. Sentenced. To. Death.
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 22, 7:05AM
2023
|
I can't believe the popular kids invited a dweeb like me to join them for a friendly game after scho
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man who lost his hat decided the easiest way to replace it was to steal it.
So he goes to the loca
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 22, 5:05AM
2023
|
My wife asked for a hot dog. I made her one and she asked me to put ketchup on it.
I pointed at the
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 4:05AM
2023
|
"I'm getting married" She said happily.
"Oh, who's being held at gunpoint this time?"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 3:05AM
2023
|
Another Jewish mother...
A Jewish guy calls his mother in Florida.
"Hi, Mom. How have you been?"
"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 2:05AM
2023
|
I asked my wife 'So, do you think the cup is half full or half empty?' And you know what she said?
'
... |
0
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
3
|
Aug 22, 1:05AM
2023
|
He kept pestering us to play 51-Card Pickup.
That's when we knew he wasn't playing with a full deck.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 22, 12:05AM
2023
|
The Lady and the Farmer
A farmer stopped by a hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of pa
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 21, 11:05PM
2023
|
Roasted by daughter
Conversation between my daughter and I.
Daughter: dad, would you run with me in
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 21, 10:05PM
2023
|
I told my friend that ever since I went to Taco Bell, I've had bad diarrhea...
She replied with "sam
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 21, 9:05PM
2023
|
All of the passengers on a plane are seated and ready for takeoff.
The pilot and copilot are late, t
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 21, 8:05PM
2023
|
My wife told me to put ketchup on the grocery list. So i did.
But now i can't read the grocery list.
... |
1
|
2
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
7
|
Aug 21, 9:05AM
2023
|
The husband was ready for the last major hurricane to threaten their home, but his wife was not.
Whe
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 21, 8:05AM
2023
|
2 cows standing in a field. First cow asks “what do you think of this mad cow disease?”
Second cow s
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 21, 7:05AM
2023
|
I think my word processor is pregnant!
That's the *third period* it's missed in a row!
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 21, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man is walking down a street when he reads a graffiti...
...saying "The person reading this is an
... |
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
4
|
Aug 21, 5:05AM
2023
|
What does garlic do when it gets hot?
It takes its cloves off
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 21, 4:05AM
2023
|
You know, we're just one long tube inside, from our mouths, to our anus.
So, with gas coming out bot
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 21, 3:05AM
2023
|
Two older couples decide to go out for dinner.
The two husbands sit in the front seat, and the two w
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 21, 2:05AM
2023
|
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she always runs away from the ball
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 21, 1:05AM
2023
|
After years of searching for his glasses, Bob finally found them on his forehead
only to discover he
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 21, 12:05AM
2023
|
Jewish mothers, right?
The year is 2028 and the United States has elected the first woman as well as
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 20, 11:05PM
2023
|
I called the incontinence hotline yesterday
The lady asked if I can hold for a few minutes.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 20, 10:05PM
2023
|
I live alone.
Yet, the toilet seat was hot.
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 20, 9:05PM
2023
|
I got 50 dollars from my mom...
She told me to take my brother to the movies, but not to bring him h
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 20, 8:05PM
2023
|
What do you say when you tickle a millionaire?
Gucci Gucci Gucci
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Aug 20, 8:05AM
2023
|
Once there was an inflatable boy.
He lived in his inflatable house with his inflatable parents, and
... |
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
1
|
Aug 20, 7:05AM
2023
|
My wife said the garden hose wasn’t working anymore. I said, “maybe you have a kink?”
She replied, “
... |
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Aug 20, 6:05AM
2023
|
The strange case of albinism
An American anthropologist has been studying a tribe in Africa by livin
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 20, 5:05AM
2023
|
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
Because he ate his food before it was cool
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 20, 4:05AM
2023
|
I keep telling my talking anus, "Shut up, you lousy a**hole!"
It tells me "Shut up yourself, you stu
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 20, 3:05AM
2023
|
Tommy…
A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliv
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 20, 2:05AM
2023
|
Just happened IRL - My wife asked me to get some meat from the overloaded freezer as she was afraid
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 20, 1:05AM
2023
|
"It's a cold night!" the Grand Inquisitor complained.
"Throw another heretic on the fire!"
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 20, 12:05AM
2023
|
A middle-aged married couple live in a small house on the beach. One afternoon they get into a huge
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Aug 19, 11:05PM
2023
|
I'm fed up with all the NSEW jokes on this sub.
We really have to find a new direction.
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 19, 10:05PM
2023
|
I know this sounds bizarre, but my butthole has learned to talk!
And now, the damn thing won't *shat
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 19, 9:05PM
2023
|
A German man walks into a McDonald's in the United States...
After waiting in line, he finally gets
... |
3
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
6
|
Aug 19, 8:05PM
2023
|
I’m sick of all the NSFW jokes on this sub
Hi, sick of all the NSFW jokes on this sub, I’m dad.
... |
2
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Aug 19, 6:05AM
2023
|
A man and his wife are having trouble in bed...
... the woman never even gets close to having an org
... |
0
|
1
|
1
|
0
|
0
|
5
|
Aug 19, 5:05AM
2023
|
My friends got a new house, and I paid for them to get underfloor heating...
...it was a house warmi
... |
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
0
|
Aug 19, 4:05AM
2023
|
My wife has been cheating on me and in hindsight I should have seen it coming
For the past couple mo
... |
0
|
0
|
0
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Aug 19, 3:05AM
2023
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Is it just me or have there been more and more jokes posted that aren’t true dad jokes?
Dad jokes ar
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2
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2
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Aug 19, 2:05AM
2023
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For all the people queuing for McDonalds
I was at the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and a yo
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Aug 19, 1:05AM
2023
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Did you hear that NASA is about to launch a new mission to say sorry to aliens for Earth polluting s
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Aug 19, 12:05AM
2023
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the stranded woman and the kind indian
A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Ar
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Aug 18, 11:05PM
2023
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I went to a beekeeper and asked for 12 bees.
The beekeeper gave me 13 bees.
I asked why did you gi
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2
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1
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5
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